Movie Review: Live Free or Die Hard

Starring:
Bruce Willis, Justin Long, Timothy Olyphant, Maggie Q, Cliff Curtis, Jonathan Sadowski, Kevin Smith

Director:
Len Wiseman (Underworld)

MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for intense sequences of violence and action, language and a brief sexual situation.

Release Date:
June 2007

Synopsis:
The decidedly low-tech John McClane calls on the services of a young hacker in his bid to stop a shadowy group intent on taking control of America's computer infrastructure.

My Two Cents:
America is under attack, again! Duck and cover, run for the hills! No wait, who’s that in the distance? It’s John McClane (Bruce Willis). John fucking McClane! Yes, the same McClane who rid the Nakatomi Plaza of German terrorists, saved the Virginia Dulles International Airport and prevented New York from being blown out of the map.

This time McClane faces a pissed off computer genius named Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) who threatens to start a “fire sale”, which means to cut the nation’s communications and gain control of it. To do this he needs the help of the country’s top hackers, who help out without knowing what their skills are being used for. One of these hackers is super nerd Mike Farrell (Justin Long). They’re all offered a great sum of money for their help, but then they start getting killed by the mysterious villain one by one. John McClane just happened to be around when it was Ferrell’s time to die, and is saved after an intense shootout. Lucky bastard.

The FBI goes into a panic when their computers are hacked, and as much as they hate it, they must rely on McClane to do the dirty work. No surprises here. Even worst than getting involved in this mess, at some point Gabriel kidnaps the only important person in McClane’s life, his daughter. Oh boy, now it got personal. Want to bet how this is going to end?



Bruce Willis’ life as an action star has basically come to an end, and the same goes for John McClane. He can still kick ass, and he sure as hell does in this fourth movie, but it’s clear he won’t be doing this for much longer. This is perhaps why it’s so cool to see Willis play McClane one more time. This is the best Die Hard since the first one back in 1988.

The action gets crazy early on, with insane stunts, car crashes, explosions and shootouts. Some people were bothered with some of the CG special effects being too over-the-top but I loved them. It’s a Die Hard movie, and crazy shit is going to happen.

I found it strange that the Blue-ray version I watched was rated PG-13 since all other previous movies were rated R. The action is there, as are the one-liners and jokes, but it just feels odd not hearing the “F” word every three minutes. This is John McClane we’re talking about. I guess Fox wanted to reach a broader audience, and it payed off because Live Free or Die Hard is the most successful movie in the series, earning over $380 million worldwide.

Score:

From a Certain Point of View- the Transformers Film

So Shin Lord has already shared his review of the Transformers film from last summer. Now I'm going to give you my thoughts on the movie, since I was finally able to watch it. Shin and I differ very much about this movie though; he loved it, and I did not. So I'm basically going to give you a view of the movie 'from the other side', as it were. This won't happen with every movie that is reviewed of course, but I do want to give another look at this movie that was so huge last year, and almost universally received great reviews (but there are also people who didn't care for it, like me).

I'm not going to give a story breakdown because Shin already did that. I'm going to get right into the issues I have with this movie. It...has a lot of problems. I actually didn't have great expectations for this movie when I first heard about it anyway. I didn't think it would be done well, and probably couldn't be. And then I saw 'leaked' designs of the Transformers, and that sealed it for me. I thought they were awful, and all the more reason I didn't want to see the movie, and I thought it would be bad. I love the Transformers, and they were a grand part of my childhood, so I was not happy with how this was looking. But then it got almost universally great reviews, which surprised me. And since I could watch it for free (no, not through an illegal download...), I decided to give it a shot.

First of all, one of the universal criticisms (when there WERE criticisms that I saw..) I have heard about this movie is 'TOO MUCH PRODUCT PLACEMENT!11'
One of my co-workers said it best. It's the Transformers; it's product placement by definition. Firstly, they started as toys. But secondly, they all transform into actual...things (except Megatron, in this movie. He does not transform into a Walther P-38, or any other type of weapon. He's...a....Cybertronian jet, I guess). All the cars you see are real cars. But that's the case in almost every movie you see that has cars; they're all real cars. How come no one calls that 'product placement', or makes a fit about it? It's the same thing.

As for other product placements in this movie, yeah, I saw them. But...so what? Yeah, that computer is a Hewlett-Packard. Yeah, they said the name Nokia in regards to a Nokia phone. So what? It didn't ruin the movie for me.

No, there are other things about this movie that bothered me.

Yes, the teen love stuff was done very poorly, and largely a waste of time. It also didn't help that they tried way too hard to make Sam a complete loser that never gets girls. Okay. I get it. I don't have a problem with there being human characters, and, you know, trying to develop them. But Sam's loserness, if you will, was done poorly. Or...in some ways, it may have been done too well.

So Bumblebee could only communicate...using his radio. Why did they decide that Bumblebee can't talk, to begin with? I didn't understand the point of that. Also, communicating using only a radio; that sounds more appropriate for Blaster, who WAS a radio. Also, it was...too weird that when Bumblebee wanted to talk, he just...tuned in his radio and....played transmissions that happened to fit what he wanted to say, somehow. But how did he know what was, or was going to be on, radio broadcasts? Or did he record things he had heard before? If that's the case, okay, but SAY SO. Same thing with when he turned the radio to....'mood' music, when Sam was dealing with Mikaela. So....Bumblebee understands what 'romantic' music is? Or rather, what people think about music?

I also did not think it was funny when Jazz said "'Sup, bitches?" That....was really dumb. Oh yeah, let's make Jazz even more of a stereotype. Brilliant.

Frenzy was just annoying. Why did he keep making those dumb noises? Was there any reason FOR him to not shut up? He wasn't even talking to anyone. Also, I thought it was kind of weird that Frenzy transformed into a radio. Well, if they wanted that, why not obviously use Soundwave, who was a radio (and one of the most recognized Transformers as it is)? But then again, Frenzy was about as tall as a person, kind of like the original Frenzy and Rumble were. I guess that wouldn't do Soundwave justice if...he was....a tiny Decepticon.When the movie was finished and was shown in the movie houses, Brawl was incorrectly identified as 'Devestator' in the final cut. They had a good while to correct this mistake (which I can't imagine how it was even made to begin with) for the video release. But nope. This mistake is still there in the home video release. That may not sound like a big problem, but uh, yeah, I think it kind of is. they got a character's name wrong. There really isn't an excuse for something like that. and again, they could have changed it for the video, but still didn't. I call that sloppy.



I also wonder why did they feel the need to make up all-new Decepticons instead of using some of the original ones. Barricade and Blackout they just made up. Blackout is a helicopter, but why not just use Vortex? He would also go along with Brawl; they were both Combaticons. As for Barricade, he was a police car, and well, if they wanted to use a police car, the Decepticons didn't have any. The Decepticons actually had almost no cars...But they could have used one of the Stunticons. None of them were police cars though....So, I don't know. Barricade's existence makes a little more sense from that standpoint.

However, on the subject of Barricade....they did something....really stupid with him. In his police car form, on the side, it says 'To Punish and Enslave'. Seriously. And the Decepticon emblem was right there in the local police insignia. Oh yeah, those things will REALLY fool people into thinking you're a genuine police car. I mean, really. That was BAD.

Scorponok didn't really fit; he was the only one who was not a vehicle. He was a giant robot scorpion. Oh yeah, he really blended in well on Earth. Giant scorpions are all over the Middle East. Gotta watch out for them. He also wasn't that big. He was only bigger than Frenzy. That was kind of weird. Also, Scorponok was a weird choice to begin with. The original Scorponok was a massive, triple-changing 'city'-scorpion-robot. Actually, was Scorponok even a Transformer in this movie, or was he just a big, metal scorpion? He doesn't transform. Hasbro did make his movie toy transform but, uh....there's almost no difference. But we don't see that in the movie so it doesn't matter. The point is, Scorponok just doesn't belong here.

The overall Decepticon roster was weird, and random, anyway. We have Megatron and Starscream, who are essential. And then two they just made up (Barricade and Blackout), one who didn't fit (Scorponok), and then....Bonecrusher, for some reason, and who is originally one of the Constructicons, and then Brawl and Frenzy. They could have done...a lot better in thinking of Decepticons to use.

Also, the All-Spark was a little confusing. So I understand that it was used to basically bring life to machines. So it's...a pretty godly item to the Transformers. Okay. That makes sense, in its own way. But...what didn't make sense was...so...it has the power to only turn machines into EVIL Transformers??? Megatron wanted it for that purpose, of course, but...it looked like that was the ONLY thing it could do. We see the All-Spark's power turn machines into evil, destructive Transformers two different times, and it's evident that Sector 7 had done it several times prior. When we do see two new Transformers 'born' from the All-Spark, all they want to do is destroy everything. So how did the All-Spark go from basically helping create the entire TF civilization to becoming an object that only creates evil robots?

Also, the idea of transforming was confusing in one basic way. So, what we see happen is that the TF's, upon arriving on Earth, scan Earth vehicles, and somehow that gives them the ability to alter their appearance and then transform into that vehicle. Okay....Fair enough. But here's where it starts not making sense. Firstly, when Mikaela calls Bumblebee a piece of crap, Bumblebee drives away and looks for another Camaro, that looks just like him, scans that, and then he becomes THAT all-new Camaro. Bumblebee did look like he was in not too good of shape when we first see him. But...re-scanning another car, even of the same kind....basically repaired him. Also, he was able to scan another car, even if it was the same kind, and he could now change into that one.

So can the Transformers scan vehicles, and other machines, as often as they want, and basically, be able to transform into anything, at any time, as long as they scan it first? So then, why not continuously scan other vehicles to transform into so that the enemy doesn't know who you are? Because eventually, they will know what you transform into. So why not just re-scanning things? Bumblebee basically did just that.

But there's a better example. Frenzy did it, too. At some point, Frenzy is decapitated, but his head can survive on its own (unlike Bonecrusher, whose head could not do that...). He re-scans Mikaela's phone, and he could now transform into a phone.

This is something the original Transformers could not do, and that was pretty clear. Otherwise, again, I assume that they would all have done it, and be able to turn into anything at any time. Like the Megatron; he was a Walther P-38. That's not an impressive gun. If he wanted to be a gun, he could have picked a cooler one, if he had the ability to re-scan things any time.
I also learned that to stop a Transformer, all you have to do is spray cold gas on them. Before anyone says 'Well, they're machines..' and whatnot, yeah, but these are ALIEN machines with transforming powers, for God's sake...

It's also not clear to me why, if the All-Spark just sits inside a Transformer, the TF dies, and the All-Spark destroys itself. So how come the TF's don't die, or get damaged, etc. if they just touch it?

I also have to call complete horseshit on when Lennox falls off his motorcycle, and....slides gracefully, for a good while, actually, on his back, right under Brawl and is able to fire from below. No fucking way. I've seen A LOT of fakey things like that in movies, but THAT really was horseshit.

Also...Scott Ramsoomair, of VGCats, is NOT kidding when in his comic critique of this movie...he drew a Mountain Dew Transformer. That's likely one of the worst product placement moments that detractors of the movie really despised. Yeah...I understand that...

I was also disappointed to hear Megatron speak. Because he is played by Hugo Weaving, I was looking forward to at least that much.... But In all honesty...you can't tell. They altered his voice too much. They...made it deeper. Let me ask you something; if you want Hugo Weaving to voice someone, why would you want to CHANGE his voice?? you want Hugo Weaving for a REASON: Because he's Hugo Weaving. In all honesty, that could be anyone speaking for Megatron. they totally wasted Weaving's talent....



It was great to have Peter Cullen, who IS Optimus Prime (and currently does VO ads for various shows on Cartoon Network) be in this movie. That was definitely a plus.

The effects are top-notch, and do make the film nice to look at. And you really do have to appreciate it because it would have taken A LOT to get this guys to transform various times to and back. It is beautifully done. The robots do look pretty real, too, despite their designs... But I never had any doubts there would be great effects. That was never a concern of mine, and isn't a problem in this movie. However, it takes more than great effects to really make a great movie. And this movie....ain't that great. But again, it's not 'terrible', or even 'bad' either. It's just... kinda beh. It was way overhyped, and way overpraised. Nothing ever lives up to its hype anyway, but this movie was strangely overpraised as well, as being a really great film. I'm honestly not sure why that is. Some people said 'Oh I felt like a kid again!' Really? I sure didn't. I probably would have loved it if I was a kid, but well, far too late for that. I feel more like a kid again when I watch the original Transformers: The Movie, from 1986.

This movie is almost universally agreed on as a 'mind-blowing movie', as James Rolfe (AKA the Angry Video Game Nerd) said...But I sure didn't feel that way. It has too many problems that well...I really just could not ignore. I've seen many, many, many worse movies, sure, but that still doesn't make this movie that great. There's too much room for improvement. I sure don't think it was one of the best movies that I personally saw last year. In fact, all the movies I saw at the movie house (and there were not many...) were better than this one.

So. That's what I think. This is more or less what I expected I'd think of the movie anyway. I was not looking forward to it, and didn't think it would be that great, for a number of reasons. I was basically right.

Sadly, this movie belongs in the Sharkticon pit. Or sucked into Unicron and either crushed, or dumped into the acid vat.

I really don't want there to be any more movies, even though there is A LOT of room for improvement. If this the kind of thing they want to do with these characters in a film series, then I don't want it, and I'm not looking forward to the next one. I won't see it in the movie house either, but well, if I can watch it for free on home video, too, maybe I eventually will. I sure don't want to pay for it.

Game Commercials: Super Smash Bros.

In celebration of the US release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl I’ve gathered TV commercials from all three installments in the series.



This is hands down the best TV ad for any Nintendo game, in my opinion. It barely shows gameplay footage, but it doesn’t need to. The guys in suits are hilarious and the music fits perfectly with the violence.




I don’t even remember this commercial, but that’s probably because it’s so lame. There’s no fun or excitement here, just a guy looking like a dork. If you take away the brief gameplay video you are left with nothing that has to do with Smash Bros. What the hell?




I like the two Japanese guys, but I really wish Nintendo of America would bring back the guys in suits from the N64 days. Also, the guys playing Brawl with the Wii controllers and nunchuks are making fools out of themselves, because no one can play Smash Bros. with those.

Weekend Box Office Report: Mar 21-23

Plenty of new releases this week, but people are still craving Horton Hears a Who. G-rated movies can still rock the box office, even against horror flicks like Shutter and comedies about violent bullies like Drillbit Taylor.

1. Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who
This week: $25,100,000
Total: $86,470,000

2. Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
This week: $20,010,000
Total: $20,010,000

3. Shutter
This week: $10,700,000
Total: $10,700,000

4. Drillbit Taylor
This week: $10,200,000 - Total: $10,200,000

5. 10,000 BC
This week: $8,660,000 - Total: $76,100,000

6. Never Back Down
This week: $4,861,000 - Total: $16,824,000

7. College Road Trip
This week: $4,630,000 - Total: $32,005,000

8. The Bank Job
This week: $4,100,000 - Total: $19,430,000

9. Vantage Point
This week: $3,800,000 - Total: $65,300,000

10. Under The Same Moon
This week: $2,602,000 - Total: $3,329,000

Movie Review: The Simpsons Movie

Starring:
Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer

Director:
David Silverman (The Road to El Dorado, Monsters Inc.)

MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for irreverent humor throughout.

Release Date:
July 2007

Synopsis:
Homer must save the world from a catastrophe he himself created. It all begins with Homer, his new pet pig, and a leaky silo full of droppings - a combination that triggers a disaster the likes of which Springfield has never experienced. As Marge is outraged by Homer's monumental blunder, a vengeful mob descends on the Simpson household. The family makes a narrow escape, but is soon divided by both location and conflict.

My Two Cents:
Leave it to Homer Simpson to ruin not only his life and his family’s, but also of all the citizens of Springfield. After the Springfield lake’s pollution level reached its limits, Lisa succeeds in bringing attention to the matter and forbidding anyone to dumb any kind of garbage into. Meanwhile, Homer adopts a pet pig and that thing craps like crazy. Homer fills a large silo with pig crap, and his own, until it reaches the top and needs to be thrown away. Now, where do you think Homer dumps the silo?

The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) contains Springfield’s pollution problem by putting a gigantic dome over the whole town, sealing it away from the rest of the country. It doesn’t take long for the citizens to find out it was all Homer’s fault, and gather an angry mob to go kill him. Homer and his family must find a way to escape the dome, and also find a solution to EPA’s harsh measures.



Although the movie has its moments, it feels like any random TV show stretched to fill an hour and a half. There are barely any new characters, and the little CG they used for backgrounds, similar to Futurama, doesn’t really add anything to The Simpsons. There are no swear words, or anything else not previously seen in the weekly show. Well, there is one full-frontal nudity scene that is both surprising and disturbing at the same time. Still, it’s disappointing not to see the writers go wild with the movie to give us something different from what we’re used to, like Matt Stone and Trey Parker did with Southpark: Bigger, Longer and Uncut.

Anyone will be able to enjoy the pop-culture references and Homer’s stupidity, but fans of the show will get the most out of it. The Simpsons have been on the air for almost 20 years and it’s nice to finally see them in their own full-length movie. If they ever make a sequel I wish they dare to take things a bit farther, but I had fun as it is and recommend it to anyone who has ever enjoyed an episode of The Simpsons.

Score:

First Images of Ray Park as Snake Eyes

Larry Hama, the guy behind the G.I. Joe movie, released some publicity photos of Ray Park in his Snake Eyes costume. I have to admit he looks sick in that black costume, and I actually got excited about the movie, if only for Ray Park. It's cool knowing that Darth Maul is under that ninja outfit. Wipe them out, Snake Eyes, all of them.

Mother Knows Best; NoA Does Not

Many people will not find this to be a big deal in any sense, but I think it represents a significant message to fans of the Mother series; Mother 2 was released in North America as Earthbound, on the SNES.

Fans were most excited when Super Smash Bros. Brawl included the all-new Lucas, from Mother 3, which has not been released by Nintendo of America here, among the roster of playable fighters. The excitement increased as news of other various elements from Mother 3 were included in the game as well. And then it was revealed that veteran Smash Bros. fighter Ness, from Mother2/Earthbound was returning, and his hometown of Onett is an arena. Mr. Saturn, from Earthbound, also returns as an item and trophy, and the music Snowman (from Mother 1 and 2) is a track in the game. Earthbound fans couldn't be happier to see these things in a new game, especially if this can help promote the series for a possible release of Mother 3, and maybe the other 2 games as well (Note: Mother 1+2 was a two-in-one game for the Game Boy Advance in Japan, before Mother 3 came out. It was not released overseas, but would be an easy way to do it).

However, there is one element from this series that does not remain. In 'Brawl's Masterpieces section, there are demos from various Nintendo games that can be unlocked. There is a demo of Mother 2 in the Japanese edition of the game. This should be a demo of Earthbound, thusly, in the U.S. edition of the game. However, the demo of Mother 2/Earthbound was removed by Nintendo of America.

There doesn't seem to be any real reason for NoA to even bother removing just a demo from the game. But it's just a demo, you may be wondering 'So what?'

I think there may be a certain message NoA is giving to the fans with this strange move, and a lot of fans are not happy because they get similar feelings.

The Earthbound/Mother community and fan base is VERY strong and VERY vocal, and they DEMAND Mother 3, which is almost 2 years old in Japan, be brought over to North America. NoA is very aware of this fan base, and quite honestly, they don't seem to care. The fans have made themselves more than known to NoA, and have made their wish more than clear. And NoA has done nothing, and have said before in the past that they don't have Mother 3 on the horizon, and will probably never get to it, even though the fans demand it.

And then there's the Virtual Console, which has the potential for a vast gallery of great and classic games. Fans have hoped that Earthbound (and possibly even Mother) would be released on the VC. It was being reported by Starmen.net, the giant Mother/Earthbound fan site, that NoA 'is' going to release Earthbound on the VC 'soon', or 'eventually'. Well, apparently, that depends on what your definition of 'is' is, because there has been no word or evidence that NoA actually is planning to do this; nothing official, anyway. And this was first being reported late last summer. Even members of Starmen.net are now wondering if it actually is true, and if the game will come to the VC at all...

Naturally, if NoA was planning to release Earthbound on the VC, then keeping the demo of the game in 'Brawl would make a lot of sense, and also be convenient. However, if they are planning to release the game to VC, then why remove the demo that could actually help promote the game, and gain interest in it? But why bother wasting the time and effort at all?



Essentially, I think that most likely, Nintendo of America is giving the fans of Mother and Earthbound a giant 'Fuck Off', with the removal of this simple demo.

They know what the fans want, and they don't want to give the fans what they want. They are likely very tired of hearing the fans demands, and probably even pleas and begging, for a game or games that they simply do not want to release.

Nintendo of America does not want to bring Mother 3 here.

Nintendo of America does not seem to care about the Mother series.

Nintendo of America doesn't even seem to want to re-release a game from the series that they already released once before, and one that also has a strong, loyal and grateful fan base. By the way, in regards to the original Mother, for the NES, NoA actually did translate that game as well, but backed out at the last minute and did not release it. So NoA has two games they completely translated, and even though one was not released, it's still already been done, and they don't care to release either one.

Nintendo of America does not care what the fans want.

I, and other fans, really can't see any other logical reason for NoA ignoring all of these things, and then also bothering to remove an Earthbound demo from 'Brawl, especially if it could be useful for a re-release of the game. You may think I'm reading more into this than there really is there, but given Nintendo's history with all of this, I doubt I'm at least not far off.

I may be wrong, and in the end, maybe Earthbound will be on the VC. But I think this is just a greater sign that NoA is just overall ignoring the series, as well as the fans. I certainly doubt we will see Mother 3 soon, if ever. I'm sadly not holding my breath.

So if you do care about the series, what can YOU do?

Well, Starmen.net held their EB Siege Campaign last year, in which fans wrote letters and cards, sent envelope art, and called Nintendo of America, letting them know of their demand for Mother 3, and even the other 2 games. Fans are still encouraged to do these things. And fans have already started asking questions about the removal of the demo. Apparently, they are not really getting answers though...I wouldn't expect NoA to release an official statement about this; they'll just ignore it. But keep watching for more news.

Starmen.net's Newspost and NoA Contact Information

Movie Review: Sunshine

Starring:
Cillian Murphy, Chris Evans, Michelle Yeoh, Cliff Curtis, Hiroyuki Sanada, Rose Byrne, Troy Garity, Benedict Wong

Director:
Danny Boyle (The Beach, 28 Days Later)

MPAA Rating:
R for violent content and language.

Release Date:
July 2007

Synopsis:
With Earth's life source, the sun, dying out 50 years in the future, it seems the planet's days may be numbered. Humanity's only hope lies with a crew of eight astronauts transporting a device that will revitalize the sun. But a fatal miscalculation leaves the cosmonauts fighting for survival... and for their sanity.

My Two Cents:
I always appreciate when moviemakers try to come up with new, original material. Alex Garland wrote an entirely original plot, meaning that it wasn’t based on a novel or on another sci-fi movie. It does borrow a few things from movies like Event Horizon, but overall it’s fresh and different.

Fifty years in the future (2057) the sun has started to die and planet Earth has been covered in a solar winter. Plants, wildlife and people are dying. A spacecraft, the Icarus I, is sent to the sun with a massive bomb to re-ignite it, but something goes wrong and the mission fails. Seven years later, the Icarus II is sent with the last bomb available on Earth. If this second mission fails, life on our solar system will permanently end. 16 months after launching the Icarus II, as they fly over Mercury, the crew receives a distress signal from the Icarus I. Could they be alive? This makes Captain Kaneda (Hiroyuki Sanada) and the rest of his crew wonder if they should risk veering off their trajectory to investigate, or continue with their current course as originally planned. The decision ultimately falls in the hands of physicist Robert Capa (Cillian Murphy), who suggest it might be worth the risk if they can acquire the payload from the Icarus I, just to play it safe if theirs malfunctions. As you might expect, all hell breaks lose after this point.



Everything about the first two acts of the film is awesome. It actually makes you think about what’s happening, and what you would do in such a precarious situation. Every character is important and brings something to the table. There are also no comic reliefs, which is rare and welcome. The special effects are great, end the mood, atmosphere and original score is haunting. Sadly, the third and final act is a mess. The movie goes all Event Horizon and starts to get really confusing. At least in Event Horizon it is revealed that the lost ship had gone to hell and back, so it came packed with demonic forces, but what the hell happened exactly to the Icarus I? You’ll have to find out for yourself, and you won’t like the answer.

Even though the last half our or so is bordering on garbage, you’ll still want to stick till the end to see what it going to happen. It’s really too bad Sunshine took a turn for the shitty near the end, because it could have been one of the best sci-fi movies along with 2001: A Space Odyssey. It was a box office flop and a huge disappointment for director Danny Boyle. Better luck next time, buddy.

Score:

Babes of Gaming: Sniper Wolf

Most of the members of the FOXHOUND unit are male, so it’s nice to see a female, and a sexy one to boot. She is an expert Kurdish sharpshooter and carries around a PSG-1 sniper rifle. Wolf is so good at sniping she doesn’t even need a spotter, so she works alone. She encounters Solid Snake on Shadow Moses island during the events of Metal Gear Solid. While being held captive in Shadow Moses, Dr. Hal “Otacon” Emmerich, designer of Metal Gear REX, becomes infatuated with Sniper Wolf. It is unknown if she felt the same way towards the geeky weapons designer, but I like to think so.

During her second encounter with Solid Snake, Sniper Wolf is defeated. Fatally wounded on the snow field, she begs Snake to “set her free”. Otacon is devastated, but can’t do anything about it. Wolf is given her rifle and then shot to the face by Snake. As she passes away a pack of wolves surround her and howl into the night. It is a very tragic and memorable scene that must be witnessed to be fully appreciated.

Movie Review: Meet the Robinsons

Starring:
Angela Basset, Daniel Hansen, Matthew Josten, John H. Ford, Paul Butcher, Laurie Metcalf, Wesley Singerman, Stephen J. Anderson

Director:
Stephen J. Anderson (Journey Beneath the Sea)

MPAA Rating:
G

Release Date:
March 2007

My Two Cents:
Brilliant preteen inventor Lewis creates a memory scanner to retrieve his earliest recollections and find out why his mother gave him up for adoption. But when the villainous Bowler Hat Man steals the machine, Lewis is ready to give up on his quest, until the mysterious Wilbur Robinson shows up on the scene, whisking Lewis to the future to find the scanner. When Lewis meets Wilbur’s family, for the first time in his life he feels at home. They are all wacky and odd, but they love each other and are always together. After a while The Robinsons offer to adopt Lewis, but after Wilbur reveals a mind-shattering secret, it becomes clear Lewis has to go back to his own time. Unfortunately, the Bowler Hat Guy has messed up the past and now the future has changed, bringing chaos and enslavement to the entire human race. Lewis must use his genius and figure out how to save the world, literally.

We’re so used to watching CG movies from Pixar it’s odd to see one from Disney that was produced by a different animation studio. It is based on the 1990 William Joyce book entitled A Day with Wilbur Robinson, but for whatever reason the title was changed for the movie adaptation.



I have to mention that I watched this on Blu-ray, and it looks freaking gorgeous! The textures detail is insane, and everything in the future looks so shiny and delicious. The characters themselves are very cartoony and rubbery, but everything else looks spectacular. This is a terrific transfer that takes full advantage of the 1080p resolution. I love hand-drawn animation, but CG movies like this are something else. This is what HD is for, baby!

While it’s not as fun or interesting as most Pixar’s films like The Incredibles or Toy Story, it’s still good, clean, old-fashioned, warm and fuzzy. There’s all sorts of insane characters and events, like singing frogs, a dinosaur, wacky inventions and a time machine, so kids will not be bored. Adults may not finding as fun, but it’s charming enough and worth watching. After a few dull sequences the movie does pick up and the ride to the end becomes much sweeter than I anticipated.

Score:

Weekend Box Office Report: Mar 14-16

Jim Carrey is hot once again. Dr Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who kicked everyone’s ass at the box office and is the current record-holder for biggest opening of 2008 with $45 millions. This is the second Dr. Seuss story Carrey has starred in, the first being How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which was also a big hit.

1. Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who
This week: $45,100,000
Total: $45,100,000

2. 10,000 B.C.
This week: $16,415,000
Total: $61,219,000

3. Never Back Down
This week: $8,610,000
Total: $8,610,000

4. College Road Trip
This week: $7,893,000 - Total: $24,286,000

5. Vantage Point
This week: $5,400,000 - Total: $59,200,000

6. The Bank Job
This week: $4,910,000 - Total: $13,113,000

7. Doomsday
This week: $4,743,000 - Total: $4,743,000

8. Semi-Pro
This week: $3,000,000 - Total: $29,846,000

9. The Other Boleyn Girl
This week: $2,900,000 - Total: $19,171,000

10. The Spiderwick Chronicles
This week: $2,390,000 - Total: $65,430,000

Movie Review: Run Lola Run

Starring:
Franka Potente, Moritz Bleibtreu, Herbert Knaup, Nina Petri, Armin Rohde, Joachim Król, Ludger Pistor

Director:
Tom Tykwer (True)

MPAA Rating:
R for some violence and language.

Release Date:
June 1999

Synopsis:
Time is running out for Lola. She's just received a frantic phone call from her boyfriend, Manni, who has lost a small fortune belonging to his mobster boss. If Lola doesn't replace the money in 20 minutes, Manni will surely suffer severe consequences!

My Two Cents:
With a title like Run Lola Run (Lola Rennt in German) you expect to see Lola run, and boy does she ever. She’s running almost the whole 80 minutes of the film. As soon as the movie starts, Lola (Franka Potente) gets a phone call from her over-stressed boyfriend Manni (Moritz Bleibtreu). He’s a petty criminal who has been doing jobs for a local big shot, but the idiot managed to lose $100,000 while trying to avoid the police. He left the bag with the money inside a subway car and a stinking bum took it. Now that’s a lucky bum. Manni only has 20 minutes before his boss arrives, and he asks Lola to come up with a plan to materialize that sick amount of money, or he’s as good as dead. Gee, that guy sure is husband material.

So what is Lola to do? She’s starts running like hell toward the bank where her adulterous father works to beg him for money. He obviously refuses. Manni’s time is almost up so he decides to rob a supermarket. Lola arrives at the scene and gets involved in the robbery to help out her man. As they escape with the money the police catch up with them and one of the officers accidentally shoots Lola in the chest, killing her. Damn, there’s still about an hour of film left and Lola is already dead. But wait, something odd happens. As she is lying agonizing on the floor, Lola decides she doesn’t want things to end this way and she is somehow transported to her apartment where she once again gets the distress call from Manni asking for money. What the fuck?



So she sets out in her quest to ask her father for money, but this time she falls down the stairs and that incident alone changes everything. On her previous run she interacted briefly with a bunch of people, and you could see what would become of them afterwards. One lady will win the lottery, one guy will get married, another woman will commit suicide, and things like that. At first it doesn’t make much sense, but on her second run you can see how your whole life can change if you get somewhere a second later. It sure makes a huge difference for Lola and Manni. There are a total of three different versions of her run towards Manni, and each gets more and more interesting. This is something I had never seen before.

What’s never explained is why or how Lola is able to change her fate, or if it’s Manni who does it. It’s also not clear if they remember their prior fates once they are given a second and third chance at life. Oh, and Lola can break glass when she screams, which made me wonder if anything was real or not. It doesn’t matter, I guess, but it’s still intriguing. Love is a mysterious force, so maybe that’s what’s happening here. Lola’s love for Manni is so strong she’s willing to do anything for him. Even though little time is used to develop the characters, you still root for Lola and want her to succeed. Lola does go into three very different stages: fear, anger, and self-control, and I can’t imagine anyone but Franka Potente achieving this so well. Everything in Run Lola Run happens so fast, but it’s very satisfying.

Score:

Owned!

Getting kicked in the face must hurt, but a kick like this with both feet must be beyond painful. I’ve never seen Dante get owned like this. Well, he did get stabbed by Vergil in Devil May Cry 3, but this is more embarrassing.

Docking Bay 94 Update

Six new designs have been added to the Docking Bay 94 T-shirt shop. Click on the links to view different T-shirt styles.

1. Machines aren’t capable of evil. – Lucca (Chrono Trigger)
2. I’m missing you already. – Alice (Resident Evil)
3. I don’t believe in coincidences. – Solid Snake (Metal Gear Solid)
4. I like being bad. It makes me happy. – Venom (Spider-Man 3)
5. 10th enemy has the bomb. – Old man (The Legend of Zelda)
6. The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am. – Darth Vader (Star Wars Episode VI)

Movie Review: Dan in Real Life

Starring:
Steve Carell, Juliette Binoche, Dane Cook, Alison Pill, Brittany Robertson, John Mahoney, Marlene Lawstone

Director:
Peter Hedges (Pieces of April)

MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for some innuendo.

Release Date:
October 2007

Synopsis:
Advice columnist and widowed father of three Dan Burns has met someone new. Marie is beautiful, she's smart, and she just so happens to be the girlfriend of Dan's brother, Mitch. With a publicly recognized moral compass, Dan finds himself torn between reaching for happiness and keeping the peace in his family.

My Two Cents:
I’m no fan of romantic comedies, but I’m no hater either. I’m used to seeing Steve Carell be a jerk in Bruce Almighty, a dorky virgin in The 40 Year Old Virgin, and a suicidal gay man in Little Miss Sunshine, so it was interesting to see him play a normal human being, for once.

Carell plays Dan Burns, a widow and father of three girls aged 9, 14 and 17. He has a column in a local newspaper called Dan in Real Life, where he gives advice on love and relationships. Too bad he doesn’t really apply them to himself. He’s having a rough time raising his daughters by himself, and with two of them being teenagers you can imagine his sad situation. He’s way overprotective of them, to the point of being ridiculous.

During a yearly family get-together at his parents’ house, Dan meets a woman named Marie (Juliette Binoche) in a bookstore and immediately connects with her. They talk for a long time and become instant friends. There’s definitely a mutual attraction, but just as Marie is about to leave she reveals she recently started a relationship with someone, so that’s that. Poor Dan still wants to be her friend so they share phone numbers and bid each other good bye. Later, back at his parents’ house, Dan’s younger brother Mitch (Dane Cook) introduces his new girlfriend to the whole family. The girlfriend is, to Dan’s horror, Marie from the bookstore. She’s so nice and cool that everyone falls in love with her, even Dan’s three girls. Dan fights really hard with himself not to interfere with his brother’s relationship with his new girlfriend, but it can’t be helped. They’re both drawn to each other and end up in awkward and uncomfortable situations.



This isn’t a Farrelly brothers comedy, so people expecting Carell to be a complete ass will be disappointed. This movie deals with very real human emotions in a way we can all relate to, without turning things into a circus. Carell and Binoche share a great chemistry rarely seen in comedies of this type. Neither of them are super good-looking or have a big age difference, and that’s perfectly fine.

This could be considered a relative small movie, but roles like this are what Carell needs to prove he can be a leading man without being an ass. I had a good time, laughed a little, and even got a bit teary-eyed, but only a little. I’m a man’s man, you know…

Score:

Cool Collectibles: More Mighty Muggs

The Mighty Muggs will rule the world! Hasbro keeps coming up with new Mighty Muggs all the time, and this batch is just as cute as the one before. Look for chunky versions of Star Wars favorites Obi-Wan Kenobi, Luke Skywalker, C-3PO and Mace Windu. If Star Wars is not your thing, you freak, then you might enjoy collecting some of their Marvel line of Muggs, including Spider-Man, Venom, Iron Man and Wolverine. They only cost about $9.99 so don’t be a cheap bastard and buy them! More Mighty Muggs coming soon.

Movie Review: Resident Evil: Extinction

Starring:
Milla Jovovich, Oded Fehr, Ali Larter, Mike Epps, Iain Glen, Linden Ashby, Ashanti Douglas, Matthew Marsden

Director:
Russell Mulcahy (The Shadow, Ricochet)

MPAA Rating:
R for strong horror violence throughout and some nudity.

Release Date:
September 2007

Synopsis:
When a series of viral outbreaks nearly wipes out all of mankind, Alice and a small band of survivors are left to roam the ruins of Las Vegas, battling the undead, and their own extinction.

My Two Cents:
The Resident Evil games are some of my favorite since the first one was released in 1996. Each installment has introduced new gameplay mechanics, interesting characters, clever puzzles and the best possible graphics. The problem many people had with the first Resident Evil movie was that it didn’t include any of the game’s characters. Not even one. Director Paul Anderson said he did this on purpose so fans of the games wouldn’t know which characters would die or survive. Um, OK, I can appreciate that, but it’s still disappointing.

The sequel, Resident Evil: Apocalypse, had game characters Jill Valentine, Carlos Oliveira (changed to Olivera in the film) and Nicholai Ginovaef. What the hell, man? It seems so many people complained about the lack of game characters in the first one Anderson felt he had to bring some of them to the movies. He also added Nemesis, a much more interesting creature than the “licker” from the first movie, which sucked. It was nice finally seeing some game characters brought to life, especially Jill because she is hot. Paul Anderson said we could expect even more game characters to appear in Resident Evil: Extinction. Yay!

The first movie was based on the first game. Nice. Apocalypse was loosely based on the second and third games, with bits and pieces of Code: Veronica. Not bad. Extinction is based on… nothing. Paul Anderson has gone mad! He decided people were tired of zombie movies taking place in the city (28 Days Later, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Weeks Later, etc) and decided a vast empty desert in broad daylight would be scarier. What?! Besides zombies and a few characters this third chapter has nothing to do with any of the games. It’s a huge letdown.



Resident Evil: Extinction takes place two years after Apocalypse. When we last saw Alice, she had been captured by Umbrella and Dr. Sam Isaacs had done some unknown experiments on her, triggering new powers within her. She freed herself from the lab by using her inhuman strength and some sort of new telekinetic powers. She even killed a guy that was in another room by staring at a security camera. Freaky. She then exits the lab, where Jill, Carlos, L.J. and Angela Ashford (the little girl) are waiting to take her somewhere safe. Project Alice has been activated and we’re not sure if Alice will become a villain or remain being the heroine. I actually liked this ending and was looking forward to the third and possible final chapter of this movie series.

Warning: Incoming Spoilers

Extinction begins with a shocking revelation: the world has ended. Yes, the T-virus outbreak got so out of control it spread across the entire planet, killing pretty much everyone, even plants. Only a few survivors are left, roaming the desert in hopes of avoiding the crazed zombies. Alice is by herself, and receives a distress signal from a gas station. She’s looking all bad-ass with guns, kukhri knives and a motorcycle. There doesn’t seem to be anyone there, but then some insane non-zombie hillbillies jump her and capture her. One of them tries to rape her but she kills him with a single kick to the jaw. She did warn him not to touch her. The others toss her in a room and release a few zombie Dobermans to kill her. She easily disposes of them with her super human strength and agility. All is good, so far.

Then you’re introduced to the rest of the characters, including Carlos, L.J. and Claire Redfield (Ali Larter). But wait, where the hell is Jill and Angela? No one mentions them throughout the whole movie. The suckage has begun. This bothered me way too much. Jill was a major character in Apocalypse. Damn it!

Alice’s powers have gone a bit out of control and she left Carlos and L.J. so she wouldn’t kill them in their sleep or something. After she left, they joined Claire, who is the leader of a convoy that has stuck together for over a year. They have suffered many hardships together and have formed a bond similar to a family. The convoy is in constant search for food and gasoline. They have big armored trucks and plenty of weapons, but they have grown tired and depression has sunk in on most of them.

Meanwhile, back at a Hive-like facility, Dr. Isaacs has been making clones of Alice, but none of them are as effective as the original. He has developed a new kind of T-virus that makes zombies remember basic human functions, like answer phones and use cameras to take photos. That doesn’t seem too useful, but it’s a start. They’re called super zombies because they are also stronger and can run, fast. We learn that Isaacs reports to a board of directors at an unknown Umbrella headquarters that is run by Albert Wesker. Yeah, Wesker finally makes his big screen debut, but he sucks. He looks like a dork with his hair dyed yellow and ridiculous sunglasses. It’s clear this guy never trained as a S.T.A.R.S. agent or has any military training. He looks like a pushover.

Most of the movie revolves around the same event: someone enters a dark room, and then is jumped by a zombie. Early on, L.J. is bit and infected, but the fucker stays quiet for some reason. He slowly turns into a zombie and eventually attacks his friends. Predictable. Of all the people he could attack he attacks Carlos. Damn, now two major characters are infected. Fuck this shit. By this moment Alice has joined the convoy, but she doesn’t detect L.J. has been infected. Remember in Apocalypse where she immediately knew Angela was infected when she met her? Then why the hell didn’t she do it with L.J.? Someone didn’t watch Apocalypse before writing Extinction…



A bunch of other shit happens, like the convoy being attacked by zombie crows, Dr. Isaacs getting infected and turning into Tyrant, and L.J. and Carlos dying. Yeah, that sucked. At least Claire and a few of the survivors managed to catch a helicopter and flee to Alaska, the last uninfected area in America. Alice must now face her maker in the shittiest showdown of any Resident Evil movie, even worst than the hand-to-hand fight with Nemesis in Apocalypse. Tyrant looks like ass, and can extend his fingers, like tentacles. That’s just nasty. He also has some of Alice’s telekinetic powers, but he’s still no match for her awesomeness. It’s a laughable and predictable battle.

In the end, nothing is resolved. There’s a shitload of Alice clones all over the Hive-like facility and Wesker and the other Umbrella executives are hiding in Tokyo. Everyone she has cared about is dead and she only has vengeance in her mind. Oh boy!

As shitty as Extinction is, I have to give credit to Anderson for trying something new. Although a desert is not the creepiest place to shoot a zombie movie, at least it’s something I haven’t seen before. The make-up and general zombie effects look great, as do the stunts and flesh wounds. I wanted to see some heads being cut off, since Alice has two awesome knives, but there were none. Ali Larter plays a cool Claire Redfield, and she said she would love to reprise her role if they ever make part 4. Something that did bother me is that Alice’s face looks super airbrushed almost all the time. Everyone else is all sweaty and bruised, but Alice looks like she’s ready for a magazine photo shoot. What the fuck?

Parts of the film are alright, and the Blu-ray version looks pretty sweet, except for Milla Jovovich’s airbrushing. The movie was a success at the box office, which was a real surprise for me. People seem to love this series of films, and they don’t cost that much to produce. A fourth movie is not in plans yet, but it’s possible. Extinction’s ending definitely leaves plenty of opportunities for a sequel, because Wesker and Umbrella must go down, permanently. Time will tell, but I’m not sure it will be a good idea, unless they go back to the video games and recreate their excitement.

Score:

Cosplay: Fatal Fury

Isn’t Terry Bogard supposed to be a bad-ass street fighter? This guy on the left looks more like a beggar. He got the colors of his costume right, even the Fatal Fury baseball cap, but everything else is hilariously bad. I’ll look at this picture every time feel a bit down to regain my confidence.

Blue Mary is hot, but this broad is, um, not as hot. I mean, she’s a sexy MILF, but she’s either pregnant with twins or already had a baby like 3 minutes ago. Look how tight Blue Mary looks on the right. It’s tough for any mature woman to look that good. She still gets credit for trying. You go, girl!

I’ve got mixed feeling about this Andy Bogard cosplay. The costume is pretty awesome and the guy sort of looks like him, but at first I didn’t know if it was a guy or a girl. Sorry dude, I guess you’re just too pretty. Overall it’s a pretty sweet imitation of Andy in one of his King of Fighters outfit, right down to his winning stance.

Bonne Jenet is not as well-known as Mai Shiranui or Blue Mary, but she’s still part of the Fatal Fury family. This chick looks great in her outfit. There’s nothing wrong with her costume, except maybe that there’s not enough cleavage exposure. I love Bonne and I’m glad someone did her justice.

Weekend Box Office Report: Mar 7-9

As ridiculous as 10,000 BC seems, that didn’t stop people from making it the #1 movie this weekend with a solid $35 million opening. The other two new movies were left in the stone age, although I should point out that The Bank Job opened in less than half the number of theaters than 10,000 BC.

1. 10,000 BC
This week: $35,730,000

Total: $35,730,000

2. College Road Trip
This week: $14,000,000
Total: $14,000,000

3. Vantage Point
This week: $7,500,000
Total: $51,681,000

4. Semi-Pro
This week: $5,900,000 - Total: $24,835,000

5. The Bank Job
This week: $5,710,000 - Total: $5,710,000

6. The Spiderwick Chronicles
This week: $4,800,000 - Total: $61,721,000

7. The Other Boleyn Girl
This week: $4,000,000 - Total: $14,612,000

8. Jumper
This week: $3,750,000 - Total: $72,537,000

9. Step Up 2 the Streets
This week: $3,049,000 - Total: $53,004,000

10. Fool’s Gold
This week: $2,800,000 - Total: $62,820,000

Movie Review: The Bourne Ultimatum

Starring:
Matt Damon, Joan Allen, Julia Stiles, David Strathairn, Scott Glenn, Paddy Considine, Edgar Ramirez, Albert Finney

Director:
Paul Greengrass (The Bourne Supremacy, United 93)

MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for violence and intense sequences of action.

Release Date:
August 2007

Synopsis:
Bourne has reached the end of the line. This time, he will not stop at his former masters' empty promises or even with the killing of those who relentlessly pursue him. With nothing left to lose, he will use each nuance of his training and every finely honed instinct they taught him to come after his creators and finish it all.

My Two Cents:
Spy movies like James Bond and Mission: Impossible are always fun, but they tend to go overboard with the stunts and silly gadgets. That’s why Bourne movies are so refreshing, because they offer intense action while being more realistic. Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) is not trying to defuse a nuclear weapon that will destroy the world, he’s just fighting to stay alive and find out why he became a tool of murder for the CIA.

I suggest you watch the first two movies before watching Ultimatum, but even then the movie recaps on what has happened through flashbacks to help you remember, or have a better idea of what is going on if you’re a noob.

Project Treadstone is over, but a new one called Blackbriar has been activated to replace it. Bourne learns about Blackbriar from an English reporter that was making headlines with Bourne’s story without really knowing how sensitive this information really is. The CIA has been tracking the reporter and now they know where Bourne is. They send out two of their top assassin’s to finish him, but you know, this is Jason Bourne we’re talking about. Jason has been getting new flashbacks that lead to his “creation”. He’s closer than ever to uncovering the truth about his identity and he’ll travel to four different continents to do it.



This third chapter is great, but it’s all shot with a handheld, or so it seems. The camera shakes so much sometimes, even in relaxed dialog scenes, that it took me quite a while to get used to it and not hurl all over my couch. There’s also so much information to soak in, with names, addresses, CIA babble, etc, it can get overwhelming, but just when your mind is about to melt, an action sequence starts and you’re all happy again. In other parts there’s no dialog for minutes, but you’re so into the film you’ll start feeling like you’re Bourne and someone going to jump you at any second. You’ll be glad to know Jason’s true identity is finally revealed, and there’s some closure at the end. I already know they’re planning a fourth film, but even if they cancel it you’ll be plenty satisfied with how the trilogy played out.

It’s interesting to note that every Bourne movie has been more successful than the previous one, with Ultimatum grossing over $440 millions worldwide, and that is not seen frequently in cinema. People can’t seem to get enough of the complex storylines, intense action sequences and the Jason Bourne character itself. The Bourne Ultimatum made its way into six different critics’ Top 10 Movies of 2007, including USA Today, Empire, and Rotten Tomatoes.

Score:

Movie Babes: Megan Fox

Date of Birth
May 16, 1986

Partial Filmography
Transformers 2 (2009)
How to Lose Friends & Alienate People (2008)
Transformers (2007)
Hope & Faith (TV, 2006)
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen (2004)
Ocean Ave. (TV, 2002)
Holiday in the Sun (2001)

Trivia
- Has been training to become an actress since the age of 5, but got her big break at 13.
- Her middle name is Denise.
- Was born in Rockwood Tennessee and has French, Irish and Native American ancestry.
- Has at least four tattoos.
- Placed #18 in Maxim’s Hot 100 Babes of 2007.
- Placed #68 in FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2006.

Movie Review: The Golden Compass

Starring:
Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Dakota Blue Richards, Eva Green, Sam Elliot, Adam Godley, Tom Courteney

Director:
Chris Weitz (About a Boy)

MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for sequences of fantasy violence.

Release Date:
December 2007

Synopsis:
After overhearing a shocking secret, precocious orphan Lyra Belacqua trades her carefree existence roaming the halls of Jordan College for an otherworldly adventure in the far North, unaware that it's part of her destiny.

My Two Cents:
There is no God. That’s the first thing I heard about The Golden Compass from a guy that saw the film. He said the movie was about killing God and making the Catholic church look bad. My only thought were “I gotta watch this movie!”

Try ignoring what you have heard or read about Philip Pullman’s book trilogy His Dark Materials being pro atheism and against Catholics. Well OK, Pullman did say “I suppose technically, you'd have to put me down as an agnostic. But if there is a God, and he is as the Christians describe him, then he deserves to be put down and rebelled against.” Holy shit, this really is about defeating God. It’s no surprise this remark raised controversies, but remember, this is a fairy tale. People didn’t seem to mind watching Jesus get whipped mercilessly for two hours in Passion of the Christ. That movie grossed over $600 million dollars worldwide. Sure, absolutely everything that has to do with religion offends someone, but that’s exactly why director Chris Weitz decided to tone down the anti-God stuff for The Golden Compass. This pissed off many people, but what’s done is done.

In an alternate world, people walk around with their souls outside their bodies. They manifest themselves as animals called dæmons. When your dæmon dies, so does the carrier, and vice versa. Lyra Belacqua, the story’s main character, has a shape-shifting dæmon as well as every other kid. After the kid grows and becomes an adult, the dæmon loses its ability to shape-shift and settles with just one form. Lord Asriel, an aristocrat and scientist, thinks that it is possible to travel to other worlds using particles called Dust. Unfortunately for him and his experiments, Dust is considered to be linked to the original sin, thus labeled taboo. The Magisterium, the authority that controls pretty much everything, is trying to come up with a way to separate people from their dæmons without the person dying. According to them, Dust makes people have bad thoughts during their adulthood, so they start kidnapping children and forcing them to go through their risky experiments in order to “save” them. When the Magisterium kidnaps Lyra’s best friend Roger, Lyra sets out on her own to find him and the other kids. If you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about, I have to say I don’t understand it either. Moving on…

Besides calling one’s soul “dæmon”, which of course resembles the world “demon”, the world of The Golden Compass also deals with racism. Yes, more reasons for haters to pick on it. There are the evil Gobblers, the dirty Gyptians, and the magical Witches. There are also Angels, Deaths, Specters and more, but those are from the second and third tomes of the trilogy.



So, is the movie fun? In a word, yes. I didn’t enjoy it as much as say, the first Harry Potter or The Chronicles of Narnia, but it wasn’t bad. Actually, I should mention that writer Philip Pullman said His Dark Materials is the anti-Narnia. I’m not sure what this means, but there you go. Just like in the other movies I mentioned, there are a lot of neat special effects. All the dæmon are made with realistic CGs, and then there are the awesome polar bears. You’ve seen them in the trailers, they’re cool. The Golden Compass even won an Oscar for best special effects. I wasn’t too happy about that because I though the effects for Transformers were better. Oh well.

If you have an open mind and enjoy fantastical tales of talking animals, sorcery, and killing God, you might have a swell time with this film. That said, if you’re a fan of the books you might be greatly disappointed as New Line took way too many liberties and toned down the controversial aspects to reach a wider audience. They basically took the book’s soul out. Shame on you, New Line. The movie wasn’t received in the U.S. as warmly as New Line had anticipated, and the $180 million budget didn’t help either. It fared better overseas, helping it make about $330 million. Still not good enough to guarantee a sequel. This is still being debated by New Line, though. Let’s hope they work something out because the ending to The Golden Compass kind of sucked, similar to the one in The Fellowship of the Ring. Just when you’re ready for more action, it ends.

Score:


Trivia:
The Golden Compass is the American title of the book which Philip Pullman published in the UK as Northern Lights.

Daniel Craig was a fan of the books before he was involved with the movie, as was Dakota Blue Richards who has read the books and saw the National Theatre stage play.

Philip Pullman had originally wanted Jason Isaacs to play Lord Asriel, Nicole Kidman to play Mrs. Coulter and Samuel L. Jackson to play Lee Scoresby. But as the author has no role in casting, in the event only Kidman made it into the film.

In December 2004, Chris Weitz resigned from directing the film, claiming he was daunted by the technical challenges of the story. In August 2005 Anand Tucker (Shopgirl) was hired to replace Weitz, with the 24-carat approval of Philip Pullman himself. Tucker felt that the film would have as its central theme "Lyra's search for self-discovery and for a family." In May 2006, however, he resigned, citing creative disagreements with New Line Cinema, and Weitz returned to direct.

Lord Asriel is played by Daniel Craig, who is also the current James Bond. The part was previously played, in a London stage adaptation, by Timothy Dalton, himself a former Bond.

Ten thousand girls turned up for open auditions in Cambridge, Oxford, Exeter and Kendal for the role of Lyra Belacqua.

In July 2003 Tom Stoppard (Shakespeare in Love) was hired to write the screenplay. A year later, when Chris Weitz was hired to direct, he rejected Stoppard's script, preferring to adapt Philip Pullman's work himself.

Why wasn't Johnny Cage in Mortal Kombat 3?

Ever wonder why Midway excluded the very popular character of Johnny Cage from Mortal Kombat 3, the last game in the series to feature digitized graphics of real-life people? That’s because Daniel Pesina, the martial artist who portrayed Cage in the first two games, appeared in a magazine ad in 1994 for the incredibly crappy fighting game BloodStorm developed by Incredible Technologies. Not only that, but Daniel was wearing a costume very similar to Johhny Cage’s from MKII, with shades and everything. His employers at Midway were so pissed they fired him. That must have hurt worst than a split punch to the groin. BloodStorm was supposed to be a Mortal Kombat-killer, but it did so poorly it killed itself and made Incredible Technologies go out of business. Fatality! Since he was fired, Midway hired Chris Alexander to play Johnny Cage in Mortal Kombat Trilogy.

Daniel Pesina's brother, Carlos, played Raiden in MK and MKII. He remains working at Midway and has been involved in producing the most recent titles in the series for the PlayStation 2, Xbox and GameCube.

Movie Review: Awake

Starring:
Hayden Christensen, Jessica Alba, Lena Olin, Terrence Howard, Fisher Stevens, Arliss Howard, Christopher McDonald

Director:
Joby Harold

MPAA Rating:
R for language, an intense disturbing situation, and brief drug use.

Release Date:
November 2007

Synopsis:
While undergoing a heart transplant, Clay experiences "anesthetic awareness", a condition that allows him to hear and feel everything that's happening to him but leaves him paralyzed and unable to do anything about it. From his unique and painful vantage point, Clay learns troubling truths about his closest friends and loved ones.

My Two Cents:
I love thrillers, and I had been waiting for Awake because the trailer was very intriguing. The thought of having open heart surgery is frightening, but being awake through the whole process because you experience anesthetic awareness is truly terrifying. I thought the trailer already gave too much away, but it’s still an enjoyable movie.

It will not take you too long to predict most of the events in this movie. You already have the spoilerrific trailer, and even if you haven’t watched it you’ll still guess everything. Also, one of the bigger plot twists happens relatively early on, leaving almost zero room for surprises. Hell, you already know Clay (Hayden Christensen) dies in the first minute of the movie. Yeah, deal with it.

Just like in The Invisible, the writers toy with the idea that when you’re near death you can exit your body and wander around. Clay spends most of the movie having his life flash before his eyes, backwards, connecting the dots to reveal every event leading to his murder. All the hints from his killers were there, from the beginning, but he was not focused and realized them too late.



I’ve watched Star Wars Episode II and III more times than I would admit, so it’s hard not thinking about Anakin Skywalker every time I see Hayden Christensen in a movie. He’s a bit stiff in Awake, and not just because he’s paralyzed while being operated on. He’s like a soulless robot. I still like him, but he needs to improve. Jessica Alba’s role could have been played by anyone. If you take the hotness away you’re left with another robot. Natalie Portman she is not. Terrance Howard is my favorite actor here.

While it won’t win any awards and it made poorly at the box office, I’ll admit I enjoyed it. The semi-supernatural aspects of it, even though they have been made before, were still intriguing and fun to watch. Real-life anesthesiologists really hated the film for its scientific inaccuracies, but I’m no doctor so who gives a shit? If you don’t mind watching a thriller that’s not psychologically challenging or filled with tension, you might have a good time with Awake.

Score: