Nintendo Power's Virtual Console Poll: Earthbound WINS the Top!!

The results are in from Nintendo Power's poll of most wanted games for the Virtual Console. As I reported, Starmen.net urged fans to vote for Earthbound, and Mother, if you like (since Mother 3 is a GBA game, it's likely not ever coming to the VC, if it were to be released). The results... are surprising.

The official results read:
1) Earthbound
2) Super Mario RPG
3) Chrono Trigger
4) Mother
5) Majora's Mask

Yes. Earthbound DID get the top spot for the most wanted game people who voted want for the VC. And Mother got spot #4. Wow. I did not foresee this, at all.

And check that out, Super Mario RPG beat Chrono Trigger??? And Earthbound even beat Chrono Trigger. Wow. Just... wow. That's really something. And I don't know what the hell Majora's Mask is even doing on there. But will Nintendo of America listen to this either? Most likely not. I do hate to say it, but Nintendo is just so dead set on NOT releasing these games, they won't listen to ANYTHING.

But congratulations to us, the fans, anyway, for making our demands known. Let's hope for our demands to be met anyway, but... don't get your hopes up too much...

Source: Starmen.net

COMING NEVER: Cutting Ties

Not all comics will be like this, in which we’re sitting in front of a computer, presumably looking at the internet, mention a movie, and then an imaginary setting emerges. This is only the second week, and only the second time I’ve done this pattern so far. Things will be different as time goes on. :P

I’m not sure why they decided to put Gambit in the movie of Wolverine’s origin, as opposed to one of the actual X-Men movies. Hopefully they won’t tie his actual origin in with Gambit too much, and preferably not really at all. So I’m not really sure if this will work out very well. Gambit used to really be hot stuff when he was introduced in the funnybooks, and for many years after that. I don’t think he’s retained quite the same amount of popularity today though. I do think of him as kind of a joke nowadays. He may have been cool once, but not so much now. We can only hope he won’t be a joke in the Wolverine movie. However, that won’t really stop us from making jokes about him anyway.

The last panel there is kind of a Frank Miller homage, even though Miller’s Wolverine was not in black and white. I just thought it would be neat to have Wolverine looking like a bad ass at the end.

Speaking of funnybooks into movies, Iron Man opens this Friday. I suppose I should have maybe made some kind of Iron Man comic to commemorate, but I never thought about it. And I can’t think of what I would say even now. Maybe sometime in the future if I can think of something.

EB Siege: PK Tube'N, from Starmen.net

I've mentioned Starmen.net's movement to bring Mother 3, and even the other two games (Mother 2 having been the only game released in North America, as Earthbound), to North America before. Last year, they started a massive campaign of demand against Nintendo of America, called EB Siege. It consisted of PK Call'N, in which you call NoA to tell them your demand for Mother 3, and the other games if you like; PK Mail'N, in which you send NoA a postcard (or letter) to demand Mother 1/2/3; and NP-Env-Art, in which you send Nintendo Power envelope art, old-school style, related to Mother 1/2/3.

They have now announced a new stage in EB Siege: PK Tube'N.

As mentioned before, NoA removed the tiny Mother 2 demo (which would have been Earthbound here) from the North American release of Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and thus, the fan community sees this as a very, very bad sign. As I wrote about previously, I think this was the last nail in the Mother coffin, from NoA. They don't WANT to bring Mother 3 here, or any Mother game, and are tired of fans demanding it. This new stage in EB Siege was devised. In this one, as you may have guessed, you make a video expressing your demand for Mother 3, and Mother/Earthbound games. Starmen.net is holding a contest for the best video, as well. You can read the rules on the link below.

The thread says to enter the contest, you must reply to SMN's YouTube post. But I guess if you want Nintendo to see your video directly, you'd...have to mail it to them or something? See, this stage in EB Siege is not as direct-to-Nintendo as the other stages were. On the surface, that makes it sound less useful. If you just post supportive videos online (not necessarily YouTube), well, your chance of being heard by Nintendo is probably not nearly as good as it would be if you sent NoA something directly. But it's something. If you do make a great video that a lot of people watch, then word can spread. But...again, that's bit of a roll of the dice.

Well, here's hoping that SOMETHING works, but I once again say that it's extremely unlikely that NoA will ever listen to any fan support for this series at all, no matter how great it becomes.

Source: Starmen.net's PK Tube'N Post

Sr. del Toro Goes to Hobbiton; to Direct

Guillermo del Toro, director of Blade II, Hellboy, as well as the upcoming Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and Pan's Labyrinth, will be directing The Hobbit for New Line Cinema and MGM. Both movies. Yes. There will be two movies.

Although The Lord of the Rings is the sequel to The Hobbit, they still want two movies made. The second one will be focusing on the 60-year period between the first movie, and The Fellowship of the Ring. It isn't clear what exactly this movie will focus on specifically, however, since there isn't really a book about this to go on.

So I guess they'll just be... making stuff up. This could potentially be quite bad. But it might not be that bad, either... After all, Peter Jackson, the man who gave us Meet the Feebles handled the 'Rings movies, and they're excellent, despite a lot of liberties he took.

There's no script for even the first movie yet, and it is not clear when exactly production will really be underway. But according to the article, 'the general thought' is that filming will be next year; for both movies, it seems, and they will be released in 2011 and 2012.

Keep watch towards the Great Eye for more news.

Source: Dark Horizons

Movie Review: Legend

Starring:
Tom Cruise, Tim Curry, Mia Sara, David Bennent, Alice Playten, Billy Barty, Cork Hubbert, Peter O’Farrell, Anabelle Lanyon, Kiran Shah, Robert Picardo

Director:
Ridley Scott (Alien, Blade Runner, Gladiator)

MPAA Rating:
PG

Release Date:
April 18, 1986

Synopsis:
Princess Lily upsets the cosmic balance of light and darkness, and freezes the beautiful land after touching a unicorn. Jack, her beloved friend and forest-dweller, must now stop the Lord of Darkness from achieving eternal dark and cold in the world, as well as from marrying his love, Lily.

My Two Cents:
If you didn’t watch this movie when you were a kid, and would only now see it for the first time as adult, you’re probably going to think this is a really weird movie to watch. And you may be in for quite a shock that this is a Ridley Scott movie. After he directed Alien and Blade Runner, but before he directed Gladiator and Hannibal, he directed Legend.

But this movie does have its fan and appreciators, and a lot of that is probably due to nostalgia. A lot of current fans probably did watch this when they were younger, and it just stays with them (Labyrinth has had a similar effect on a lot of people).

So you may wonder, especially given by the brief synopsis, why would Ridley Scott make this movie?? This is the man who gave us the masterpiece that is Alien, as well as Blade Runner. Well, he was actually inspired by a rendition of Beauty and the Beast, originally. Also, Scott has commented that there is something about the movie that seems and feels operatic, and that has occurred to me, too. It seems he also did want to just make a fairy tale type of movie, and specifically notes that he was inspired by old time Christmas cards; you know the kind I mean, with painted art work.

So anyway, this doesn’t necessarily feel like a ‘kids’ movie’, but it does have the kind of bizarre look and feelings that kids often like to see in movies. And again, if you have never seen this before, if you were to watch it as an adult, it’s going to feel weird, and you may actually hate it.

It’s not a really ‘bad’ movie, but... well, it’s just... I don’t know what else to say except that it feels weird at first. It even has... a couple of singing moments in it; Lily and Jack like to sing to each other. And you know, a lot of people also don’t like... fairy people. If that’s the case, well, almost everyone is some kind of fairy-type person, so just be warned.

Tim Curry is absolutely disturbing as the Lord of Darkness. But in a good way, not in a bad way, like when he played Pennywise... Yeah, I think Tim Curry essentially playing Lucifer is NOT as frightening as him playing a clown. I am dead serious.

Anyway, so yes, the Lord of Darkness (who has no other name given, if he even has one) is clearly supposed to be a Lucifer/Devil figure. He sure looks like one, with those HUGE horns, and hooves. I’d call him the highlight of the movie, because Curry does it so well. His own voice is even perfect for the part, and his laughter, while... kind of funny, is still very fitting, and evil. Apart from Pennywise, this is the role Curry is best known for, I think.

It isn’t explained in the movie why exactly touching a unicorn upsets the cosmic balance, but Scott indicates unicorns are basically divine, godly creatures. But still... just touching one can screw up the universe? Weird. Anyway, the Lord of Darkness takes the horn from one unicorn, who dies by the way, and then needs the other, last unicorn as a sacrifice so he can shroud the world in forever frozen darkness. Sunlight kills him, too, making him quite literally a creature of the night. So having a dark world is the only way he could really thrive.

The Lord of Darkness also begins to fall in love with Princess Lily; or is it not really love, and really just plain desire, since that’s what he essentially represents? Jack and Lily clearly love. They love each other, and the love life, and the forest. But can someone with the title of Lord of Darkness, who only gives in to all his greed and desires, actually love at all? Hmmm... I guess the audience decides that one.



Lily is the figure who becomes corrupted by Darkness in this movie, and her first act was touching the unicorn, of course, which Jack forbade her from doing. Once Lily reaches Darkness’s lair, she becomes even more corrupted and evil, and even gets to wear a wicked black dress. And she wants to kill the last unicorn. Wow, that was a big change of heart and personality in such a short time... Scott has also revealed that originally, he was going to have Lily turn into a giant cat-woman... yeah. Well, that sure would have made this movie weirder. But it also would have still been better than Warner Bros.’s Catwoman. *shudder*

By the way, what and who exactly was Lily the Princess of, anyway? You don’t see anywhere else to live except the forest, and one house. ONE house, in the whole forest. Or anywhere.

Even though it was Lily who first touched the unicorn, Blix is a goblin sent by the Lord of Darkness (and the most evil and vile goblin, according to Darkness’s description) to kill the unicorn and take its horn. Blix will probably remind you of goblins from The Lord of the Rings, only smaller. In fact, I was dead sure at first that that the same person played Blix and one of the Mordor goblins in The Return of the King. But it seems that’s not actually the case. They just look a lot alike.

Jack, played by Tom Cruise (Mmm-hmmm), must play the hero, and he has never done such a thing before, given that he lived a quiet, peaceful and happy life in the forest. Luckily, he has a tiny fairy with him, like Tinkerbelle, or Navi in some of the Zelda games. She’s extremely useful because she says she can be anything Jack needs or wants... even ‘what [his] heart desires’. Yes. I think this fairy was trying to... pick up Jack, despite the fact that he is clearly in love with Lily, and wants to marry her. Lily might not be the only corrupt one in this movie...

Jack is aided by some other fairy-type folks, although 3 of them are more like dwarves. The last one, still a ‘little person’, but not a dwarf, is Gump. Yes, that is his name. Only this Gump ain’t a retarded Southerner with a heart of gold. He actually reminds me, in appearance, of Mr. Tumnus from Narnia... But whatever he is, he indicates that he’s near omniscient, and basically leads Jack on his quest to stop the Lord of Darkness. Even though he looks like a kid (because he was played by a kid), he’s basically Jack’s mentor as well as geographical guide, and seems to know what to do, most of the time. That’s good for Jack, who doesn’t have a clue, as he’s just so innocent.

They travel through the frozen forest, and into a swamp, which was not frozen, for some reason... Maybe because it was too evil already. Here they encounter a green, nasty, haggered witch, who is also apparently naked. Her face is actually quite creepy, and probably something that Guillermo del Toro would appreciate and-- oh my Lord, did I just see a green, old witch boob??? DISGUSTING. Let’s move away from the witch.

So the other dwarf people that travel with Jack don’t really do much except bumble around. They’re kind of comic relief, but otherwise don’t have much of a purpose in being there. Gump just brought them with him for some reason.

So the movie is basically about succumbing to desire, and evil, and the dichotomy of good and evil, light and darkness; shadow is always cast from light, etc. I don’t think it will be surprising to reveal that Jack does defeat the Lord of Darkness, and when Darkness is cast back into the mirror he came from (yeah, I...know...but you can figure out some kind of symbolism here), he says that he won’t truly be gone because he lives inside everyone, and is a part of everyone. It’s not hard to figure out what he means by this. You get it. Fair enough.

As for whether or not Jack gets to marry Lily or not, well... I guess the audience gets to decide that as well. Before the land freezes, she took her ring and threw it into a lake, and told Jack she would marry whoever found it. Well, naturally Jack wanted to find it. He lost it, though, but finds it after the land returns to normal and presents it to Lily. But it still isn’t clear if they get married or not. Lily just says she’ll come back tomorrow; she only remembers the previous events as a dream.

The movie has a lot of very pretty imagery. The forest Jack lives in is... quite gorgeous. You honestly have probably never seen a forest look this good in any movie before, and certainly not in real life. ‘This is such stuff as dreams are made of’ indeed. It does seem to have a problem with pollen, or petals or something, falling down on you all the time... but otherwise, it’s really beautiful. There are also a lot of really great uses of lighting, and shadow. I also really loved how the frozen-over house in the forest looked when Lily goes to hide in there. It was... pretty creepy. In fact, it really made me think, this really feels like a nightmare.



Scott has also noted that the movie would have been more convenient, in many ways, if it had been made in the days of CGI, and many of the things they did would have been CGI today, or even 10 years ago. But this movie really does so very well without such effects, and you can appreciate that, too. Yes, here’s another example of how people made movies using practical effects, and still look good.

I watched the director’s cut of the movie, which has the original score by Jerry Goldsmith, who worked with Scott on Alien. As always, his score is great and beautiful. The theatrical cut, however, has all original music by Tangerine Dream, for some reason. I’m not sure if this was Scott’s decision or not; he expresses that he loves Goldsmith’s score, and well, if the director’s cut is his preferred print, then I assume he wanted to keep Goldsmith’s music. Hmmm...

It’s a little hard for me to say how much I actually liked this movie. I did first see it many, many yonks ago, as a young’un, and I had forgotten almost everything, except what Curry looks like as the Lord of Darkness. As I said before, looking at it now, for the first time in many years, as an adult... it does feel differently than you would if you watched it as a kid. It seemed... very strange at first, when I first began to watch it, but then I ‘got used to it’, and it didn’t seem that odd anymore. The initial feeling of weirdness was gone as the movie progressed.

I still find it hard to believe this is a Ridley Scott movie... at least he tried something different, and I can understand some of the motivation and drive to make a movie like this. He wanted to make an operatic fairy tale, and I understand that, and why you might want to make one. However, it’s because of that very concept that a lot of people would probably really not like, and even hate, this movie; even if it is a Ridley Scott movie. It’s not a ‘bad’ movie, but it won’t be for everyone either; an acquired taste, maybe? Maybe you like it more if you watch it a few more times, but this isn’t really the kind of universal movie that a ton of people will want to watch several times.

A lot of people don’t care for Tom Cruise, especially now in his weird Scientology days. However, don’t watch this movie for Cruise. Watch it see something different; and to see Tim Curry in his other frightening, signature role. I probably wouldn’t have really little kids watch it, but it’s a decent enough family movie. I say check it out if you get the chance, and if this is a Ridley Scott movie you haven’t seen yet, well, take a look at something really different that he’s done in his career. You may hate it, you may love it. But it’s... something else, that’s for sure.

Boll Gets a 'Nein!' For WarCraft Movie

This is honestly too funny. I mean, really. So, Uwe Boll actually did try to get himself onboard as director of the WarCraft movie that Blizzard is trying to develop. Seriously. And of course, Blizzard told him to go dunk his head in a toilet.

According to Boll himself, "I got in contact with Paul Sams of Blizzard... and he said, 'We will not sell the movie rights, not to you... especially not to you because it's such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it.'

Boll then continued into a bit of a rant that didn't really have a real point: "You go for it to please the game fans, but on the other hand if you have the hardcore gamers, they live in their own world. And you cannot fulfill their ideas from a video game based movie, it's impossible...To be honest, the real gamers are the typical download guys, right? They don't pay anything for movies, because they illegally download the movies. So why I should please these guys? I need the normal audience."

Well, the part about 'you cannot fulfill their ideas from a video game based movie, it's impossible' is usually true. And Boll is part of the problem that MAKES that statement true. Everything is just his usual nonsense.

So, that's pretty funny, and I might be able to make a comic out of that... :D

Source: 1Up

COMING NEVER - The Saga Begins

Welcome to the first comic of COMING NEVER, which will have new postings on Mondays.

I decided to do a comic strip about movies because it’s not something you typically see; not i n the funnypapers, and not usually on the web either. Movie references are in comics all the time, but you don’t typically see a comic just about movies. Most online comics seem to either usually be about games, overall computer/dork stuff, and... elves. Or otherwise, fantasy themes. There’s nothing wrong with those things themselves, but I thought, if I made a comic online and was just another joke comic, what would be different about it? What would I do different that most other people are not doing, and yet, people can still relate to and find funny?

I thought that movies was a simple, and pleasing answer. I love movies, and love jeering them and pointing out their follies, even if they are movies that I like. And basically everyone watches movies. I do realize that the problem may arise that well, not everyone watches the same movies; just as not everyone plays the same games, so not everyone understands or appreciates the jokes in game comics all the time (myself included). But hits and misses are going to happen anyway. So I began to think simply about what kinds of movie jokes I could think of, and that’s how this comic started to come about.

I plan to overall have this be a black and white comic, simply because I cannot use color, in any medium, very well. It’s a phenomenon, is all I can say. But as time goes on, I may play with things here and there. We’ll see.



I hope you enjoy this comic, and continue to come back every Monday for new updates. So this comic is in reference to the upcoming Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. In particular, it references to the movie’s poster, by Drew Struzan, in which there does seem to be the skull of typical gray-type alien... This comic then wrote itself after I saw the poster. How’s that for a first comic? I actually am looking forward to the movie, and wonder what the skull really means.

This isn’t the first comic I originally intended to post, nor is it the first I made, but it seemed like a good idea, the more I thought about it. I’ll probably get to my original post plans eventually.

No More Alien Movies For Sigourney Weaver

So if you've ever wondered about a fifth Alien movie, and what might happen, and of course, if Ripley will return again, well, it's now officially no, she will not.

Sigourney Weaver recently mentioned the subject in an interview, and has expressed that she won't return for another movie, if one is made.

And that's primarily because, in her words, the series was 'killed' by Fox, with Alien VS. Predator. She... does not like the move Fox made with making those movies, and has expressed before that she does not like AVP at all.

Specifically, she said "Fox has effectively killed it because of 'Alien vs. Predator.' What else can you do with the creature? You can take the situation, you can go back to where they came from... to play someone who ages a couple hundred years was fascinating. [But] let [Ripley] rest."

Amen, Sigourney. I have to agree. Alien Resurrection should not have even been made. I do not think a fourth Alien movie should not have been made; but Alien Resurrection should not exist. That movie is actually the prime reason I hate Joss Whedon. But that's another story...Anyway, but what's also a shame is, she mentioned making another one with Ridley Scott again. She said in part "The last time [Ridley and I] saw each other we talked about it. The character is still interesting [and] I'd love to work with Ridley again".

But well, that's not going to happen now. And that's a shame... It'd be awesome for Sigourney to return again, even though I... hate the idea of the... Ripley clone... But still...

So, forget it, fans. She's not coming back. Indeed we should just let Ripley rest, and be at peace.

Also, James Cameron was working on a script for a fifth Alien movie, too, but... he also backed way, way off when Fox decided they wanted to Alien VS. Predator 2 (if I can find the article I read that in, I'll post it...).

This is a sign, Fox, when three BIG and popular people in Hollywood who have worked for you in popular movie series are now telling you to go fuck yourself because you're making bad movies instead of using these hot talents to make decent ones.

Source: Dark Horizons

MK VS DC! Fatality!!

This is probably the least likely and most unexpected piece of gaming news I've heard, since at least Darth Vader and Yoda being in Soul Calibur IV...A crossover game is coming of... Mortal Kombat and... the DC Universe. Seriously. And weird.

Called simply Mortal Kombat VS. DC Universe (at least for now), will be, well, a 3D fighting game featuring MK and DC characters. The only revealed characters are the 4 most obvious ones; Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Batman, and Superman. There will also be something called 'Klose Kombat', which is descriebd as 'brutal, up-close fighting mechanic with damage, torn clothing, and bruising', and 'Freefall Kombat', which has not been specified.

Comic writers Jimmy Palmiotti and Justin Grey have been hired to write the story for this game. But there will be two ways in which this story plays out; one from the DC side and the other from the MK side, with each side being invaded by the opposite side's universe.

More should be unveiled at this year's E3 in the summer, with the game expected to be released in the Fall; for 360 and PS3.

Sources: Newsarama 1Up.

GameStop Gets Exclusive Special Editions: MGS4, SCIV

Do you like to give your hard-earned money to GameStop? Well then, there are a couple of special editions you may want to inquire about.

Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots will have a special limited edition at GS. For $85, you'll get the game (of course), plus a case with new art work by Yoji Shinkawa, and a BR disc with 'making of' specials, and a soundtrack record. Catch it June 12. SNAAAAAAKE!!

On July 29, Soul Calibur IV is coming, it was just announced. And GS will have a special limited edition of that game, too. For $80, you'll get the game in a tin box, plus a t-shirt (design has not been shown..), an art book and 'some sort of exclusive downloadable content'. The game is on both PS3 and 360, but it seems the special editions apply to both consoles.

Ghost in the Shell Film Coming

DreamWorks has announced they have acquired rights to make a film of Ghost in the Shell. The movie will also reportedly be filmed in 3D, like James Cameron is filming his current movie, Avatar. The movie will be produced by Avi Arad, former head of Marvel Studios, and will be written by Steven Koss, writer of the recently released Street Kings. No release window has been given.

Originally a manga by Shirow Masamune, it became an anime movie as well, which was uber-popular in Japan and in the U.S. Another anime movie, Ghost in the Shell: Innocence, was released in 2004. There were also two anime TV series, Stand Alone Complex, and 2nd Gig, which have been released in the U.S. in 2005 and 2006. The anime movie in particular has become a signature of anime in North America.

The original manga told the story of Major Motoko Kusanagi, working in 2029 Newport City for Section 9, a division of public security. Section 9 investigates cyber-crimes, that is, criminal activity involving cyborgs and network technologies. Every member of Section 9 was a cyborg except for Togusa. They began to investigate a strange entity calling itself the Puppeteer, who, when captured, gave the the ominous explanation 'I am a life form, spontaneously born from the sea of information'. The first volume also had the tag line 'In a world where the human mind can be programmed like a computer, at what point does the human soul end and the cybernetic machinery begin?'

Don't... ask me what the second volume is about... I honestly... have no idea...

My thoughts about this: I'm not that big of a Ghost in the Shell fan. The manga are almost IMPOSSIBLE to understand, and it probably is impossible to have a 100% accurate interpretation of them, especially the second volume. The anime movie I found to be waaaaaaay overrated. It has very beautiful imagery, and is excellently constructed. I suppose you could call it an artistic masterpiece in that regard. Except for the characters themselves; not only do they not resemble Shirow's characters, which is okay, but...they're UGLY. Look at Kusanagi; she's UGLY in that movie. The TV series also disappointed me. They don't really seem to have much of a true point, and don't seem very Shirow-esque, although almost none of the anime based off any of his works feel Shirow-esque, unfortunately...

This could potentially be a decent movie (unlike, say Dragon Ball... Auy…). You can't say that about very much manga/anime; they tend to only be best as... just manga and/or anime. But only if it's handled properly. I unfortunately don't have very much hope that it WILL be handled that well. I'm sure they'll do things like, make it take place in North America somewhere, and have mostly American people... even though Newport City IS a part of JAPAN in the story. You know, crap like that.

I can't say I'm immediately that excited about it, but we'll just have to wait and see.

Movie Review: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

Starring:
Johnny Depp, Keira Knightly, Orlando Bloom, Geoffrey Rush, Chow Yun-Fat, Bill Nighy, Jonathan Pryce, Jack Davenport

Director:
Gore Verbinski (Mouse Hunt, The Ring)

MPAA Rating:
PG-13 for intense sequences of action/adventure violence and some frightening images.

Release Date:
May 2007

Synopsis:
As the age of piracy comes to a close, Captain Jack Sparrow, Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann must sail off the edge of the map, navigate treachery and betrayal, and make their final alliances for one last decisive battle. Our heroes must face Lord Cutler Beckett, Davy Jones and Admiral James Norrington in a titanic showdown that could eliminate the freedom-loving pirates from the seven seas - forever.

My Two Cents:
I’ll start by saying I didn’t watch any of the three Pirates of the Caribbean movies in theaters because I am not a fan of pirates. I don’t care about the way they talk, their treasure stealing, songs, excessive alcohol consumption, and all that other crap pirates are associated with. I do like Johnny Depp and Jerry Bruckheimer so I gave the first PotC a shot on DVD.

I remember I watched it with my sister and my girlfriend at the time (now my wife) and they both fell asleep about 2/3 into the movie. Each of them had only fallen asleep once before, my sister with the first X-MEN and my wife with Blade Runner. Curse of the Black Pearl seemed too long and I just didn’t care about any of the characters, especially Elizabeth Swann. Everyone else that saw it loved it, especially my mom. About two years later I rented Dead Man’s Chest and for reasons I have yet to understand I really enjoyed it, along with my wife. The cliffhanger ending did suck, but now I couldn’t wait for part 3.

A few weeks ago I finally rented At World’s End, and although I had fun with a few scenes I was mostly disappointed with the film. This time I almost fell asleep halfway, and I never fall asleep watching movies. The first movie focused a lot on Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann’s romance, and I’m not a romantic fool so I didn’t care for it. The second movie was more about adventuring and had Jack Sparrow in a more important role, and I totally dug that. Now, for part 3, they went back to Will and Elizabeth’s romance, and Sparrow isn’t even in the movie for more than 30 minutes.



I detest Elizabeth Swann and can’t imagine her surviving a day on a pirate ship. She looks so puny and fragile. For reasons that elude me she is all over At World’s End, from start to finish. She is even named King of Pirates, or some shit like that. What the fuck? Now, I do like Will and felt bad that his bride-to-be was being a whore in part 2, but for part 3 he’s more bad-ass and likeable. He literally goes to hell and back for the love of his life. Once Sparrow finally shows up he enjoys plenty of screen time, but there are so many fucking characters that take the simple fun of the first film away.

The final battle after Calypso goes apeshit and the Black Pearl squares off with the Flying Dutchman is awesome. There’s so much shit going on that you lose track of time, but it’s really fun. Too bad the rest of the film is so dull.

The Pirates of the Caribbean series is a giant gold mine for Disney, but I really hope they don’t do a fourth installment or at least wait about 5 years to make it. There is only so much you can do with stinking pirates without milking them dry.

Score:

Movie Review: Superman - Doomsday

Starring:
Adam Baldwin, Anne Heche, James Marsters, John DiMaggio, Tom Kenny, Swoozie Kurtz, Cree Summer, Ray Wise, Adam Wylie

Directors:
Bruce Timm, Lauren Montgomery, Brandon Vietti

MPAA Rating:
PG-13, for strong action violence.

Release Date:
September 18, 2007 (Video Only)

Synopsis:
Lexcorp accidentally frees the alien super-killer, Doomsday, and Superman is the only one who can stop him. But he loses his life in the process, and Metropolis must cope with the loss of their great hero. Or do they? Superman suddenly returns from the dead and returns to fighting crime, possibly better than ever. But what's wrong with this Superman, and how did he return from the dead?

My Two Cents:
The first thing I wondered when I heard about this was; why wasn't this movie made YEARS ago?? The storyline this movie is inspired from happened 16 years ago. Although truth be told, during the long process of Warner Bros. making a new Superman film, which of course, became Superman Returns, there was an idea of making the movie about Superman's death. And none other than Kevin Smith had written a screenplay for it (or he might have written several drafts, I'm not sure). the project was called 'Superman Lives!', and then 'Superman Reborn', before Warner scrapped it entirely, and went through another long process of figuring out how to make the next movie...

But I digress. Anyway! So this ANIMATED movie is inspired from (I will not say 'based on' because it really overall isn't. There are too many differences) the Death of Superman storyline that ran in the Superman funnybooks. And actually, the commercial for this video claims the movie is based on 'the best-selling graphic novel of all time'!! Uh...really? I'd like to see the numbers to prove that...

The animated DC heroes have a lot of fans who love all the various series, and only want more, more, more. And a lot of those fans are adults as well. This movie is Warner making a more 'adult' animated Superman movie. It's not TOO adult, but the farthest they've gone so far, I think. It has a lot of violence, of course, and A LOT of people DIE in this movie. It's not just Superman. Even Lex Luthor literally gets away with murder in this movie. That's something you wouldn't see on Cartoon Network...

Now, Doomsday has already appeared in episodes of the Justice League show, and there was also a story on that show where everyone thought Superman was dead (but not by Doomsday), and there was a big funeral for him attended by all the superheroes. So in a way, you could say Warner has already done this before. But then again, also not. Whatever the case, this movie is not meant to take place in any established animated Superman/DC continuity, and is its own movie.

And well....it's okay. It sadly is disappointing. It's not a terrible movie, but well...they could have done so much more with it. I know I'm sure not the only one who feels this way...At least they thankfully didn't delve into the 4 different Supermen story...

The story has a lot of problems. First, the fight itself with Doomsday. You do get the point, but in all honesty, Superman doesn't LOOK that hurt. In the original funnybook, he just got the shit beat out of him, and you knew it. You could tell in this movie he was getting hammered hard, and feeling weakened, but...I don't know. It just didn't feel all together...Maybe they didn't want it to be too 'graphic', even though this is a more 'adult' movie.



Now, I'm going to get into spoilish material here. So after Superman dies, there is a funeral, but there are no heroes attending it. Now, again, one reason may be because Warner already had a funeral for Superman before on the Justice League show, and it had all the heroes there. This movie, although animated, seems more like what they would do if this did happen in a film, like Warner planned on doing. You wouldn't see other heroes there, most likely. Although, then again, you could also explain it away that maybe there was a funeral already with heroes, and what we see is just the Metropolis public funeral. I wouldn't call this a problem with the movie really, but a lot of people didn't care for it.

So there is another villain in this movie. Toyman. Yeah. Fucking Toyman. He looks like some semi-gothic loser who lives in his mother's basement, and is very childish. I can't imagine why, of all people, they decided to put Toyman in here... Auy... So Toyman has a giant mechanical ant that terrorizes the city, and suddenly, Superman comes back from the dead and stops him. So this is the first hint about his return, but there is clearly something wrong with this Superman. That's because it's not the real Superman. It's a clone created by Lex Luthor.

Now...you know what happened the other times Luthor tried to clone Superman? Bizarro. Yeah. That's how Bizarro was created in Post-Crisis Superman, and on the Superman animated series. So apparently Luthor has not so much difficulty creating a clone THIS time, but all those other times he sure did. Weird.

So does the real Superman return? Of course. And guess how. Come on. Well, you're not going to. So here is the secret; he didn't REALLY die. Nope.

Okay. So Superman has a robot in the Fortress of Solitude that took the 'carcass' from Luthor, and the robot brought him back to the Fortress to rejuvenate Superman. He explains that...Superman did not really die. His body simply slowed way down so he could heal... Does that make ANY sense???? ANY??? And since when CAN Superman do that??? This may not take place in any established continuity, but there should still be consistency with what Superman can and can't do, right?

So anyway, yeah, that was a real sour point in the movie....And pretty much the worse point. So the robot helps Superman to heal, while the fake Superman fights crime, and...to an extreme. He basically becomes a facist, and declares that he alone is the lone authority that gets to decide what is best for the city. He even threatens an old lady about keeping track of her pets, after he gets her cat out of a tree. I'm serious. He makes it clear to this old lady not to let it happen again. Oh and he also kills Toyman. Yeah. After Toyman is arrested for murdering a 4-year-old girl (also VERY serious. You don't see it at all, but it is reported on the news), the Superman clone takes him into the sky and drops him onto a police car. And trust me... Toyman is DEAD. So this clone is basically taking over Metropolis, and of course, only Superman can stop him. And as you can guess, he does in the end, after he heals. He even wears a black suit similar to the one he had in the comics when he came back to life.



Meanwhile, Luthor was actually trying to create an army of Superman clones. Again, so in this movie, he has very little trouble cloning Superman, unlike in other continuities. You do see the usual failed experiments in cells, indicating there were some problems. But this secret lab is largely full of clones who look perfect. So not too much trouble. But the active clone destroys the lab, right before he knows he must make his final stand against the city. The voice acting is really good in this movie, and was cast very well. Baldwin was a good Superman, and Heche was… well, not who I'd probably have picked for Lois, but she had some great moments. But Marsters as Luthor was really good. He really fit the role well and sounded like a great, classic Luthor. DiMaggio did Toyman... ermm... maybe too well... That's all I'll say...

One thing that bugged me was they drew Superman with these lines/creases on his face that sometimes made him look really old. I guess it was supposed to be his cheek bones, mostly, but..in this type of style, it didn't really work... Luthor got a radical redesign in his face, and sometimes... he looked REALLY creepy... I thought it was overall weird at first, but then I thought it was fitting.

Another thing that bothered me; what did they do with Doomsday's carcass after the fight? Was he even dead? You don't know. They..left that out, for some reason. In the comics, Doomsday was...sort of dead. He did die, but one of his abilities is one in which he can keep coming back to life. So he died and returned, but was thrown into space by the fake Cyborg Superman. But in this movie, you have no idea. I suppose he died, for all intensive purposes, but it's a mystery of what happened to the carcass.

Also, the Superman clone breaks free from Luthor's control when he decides Luthor is not the best authority figure; he is. But Luthor controls the clone through the use of a Kryptonite bomb in the clone's brain. The tiny shard will kill him if Luthor sets it off. So the clone removes the shard from his own brain by reflecting his heat vision off a mirror and into his own head. Now, that was just plain weird. Is that even possible for Superman to do?? CAN he hurt himself with his own heat rays? I've never heard of that. So Kryptonite is not his only weakness after all...

The movie is overall not really 'bad' to watch, but again, you can't help but think they could, and should, have done so much more with it, considering what the subject is. Superman doesn't even actually die at all in this movie. That's the biggest scam of all. I'm also not sure the title is really that fitting, because the actual fight with Doomsday is not that long, and it's not the whole movie...

So if you like Warner's animated DC heroes, you may want to check this out. It's not the best it could be, but it's not that terrible either.

Let's All Stop Uwe Boll From Making More Movies

In case you haven't heard, there's an online petition going around to make Uwe Boll stop directing movies. He said that if 1,000,000 people sign it he will retire, but he also begged his fans (lol) to start another pro-Boll petition. As of 11:00 AM of today there are over 160,000 signings on the get-the-fuck-away-from-the-cinema-industry petition, and counting. If you've suffered through shit like BloodRayne, Alone in the Dark or House of the Dead you owe it to yourself to sign the petition. Here's the link.



See what I mean? This guy is insane and must be stopped. Talking shit about Michael Bay, Eli Roth and George Clooney? My God... just go and sign the petition.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl: Top 5 Brawlers (Shirow Wolf)

Super Smash Bros. Brawl has been out for a month now, and it's been a monster success. Certainly it was the most anticipated Wii game, but I'd say overall the most anticipated game on any Nintendo system in a long time.

I like the game a lot, too. It's far from perfect (the controls are the main problem, especially in Subspace Emissary Mode...), but it's a great play, and Wii owners should definitely check it out. I'm not going to review the game because I don't really have anything significant to say, and nothing different from what everyone else has already said. If you have a Wii, at least play the game. That's it.

However, I am going to present my 'commando' list of my Top 5 Fighters. This isn't a list of who I am necessarily 'best' with, but they are the ones I use the most, feel the most comfortable with, and those I would want to have with me in a major battle. These are all characters I find easy to use as well, but at the same time, they're still great fighters. In no particular order:



Zero Suit Samus: You won't believe how fast she is. Her attacks may not pack the strongest punch, but if you're that quick, it may not matter. Sonic the Hedgehog is TOO fast and you have to be careful with him or you're going to get killed easily; but ZS Samus is just right. She doesn't LOOK that quick necessarily, when the computer is playing her, but when I play her, yeah, she feels fast. This doesn't have anything to do with how she plays, but if you use her taunts... she TALKS. And she sounds... very sultry.

Toon Link: A lot of people have found what I did; Toon Link is surprisingly awesome. He's quick and agile, and a hard striker. His attacks may even be stronger than normal Link's; I'm not sure. Now I like Link in this game, too, but overall prefer Toon Link. they're really not the same. You may not like how he looks art style-wise, but don't let that push you away.

Kirby: I probably could not have completed Subspace Emissary Mode without Kirby, honestly. He was THAT useful (but again, the controls on that mode... are just really not good. Kirby did make it better to get through), and I swear, he was the ONLY character who could get past some of the things in there... As far as being a fighter goes, as is the case in every entry in this series, I have found, Kirby is a prime choice. The floating ability does help A LOT, and will save your life probably more times than you'll be able to recall. And of course, he's a very versatile fighter, being able to take attacks from opponents by using his infamous vacuum technique. But Kirby has strong attacks on his own as well; he's overall just extremely useful.

Falco Lombardi: Yeah, Falco. I like Falco. He's GOOD in this game. He has a lot of speed, is a decent jumper, and has hard-striking attacks. He's... sort of like Fox McCloud, I suppose, but better. The two are not exactly the same, and I find Falco is surprisingly good. He's got me through a lot of tough battles. I've turned to him a lot. But...be careful using the Falco Phantasm... it goes far so make sure you don't use it too close to an edge...

Meta Knight: He is a lot like Kirby, as others have already noted. He doesn't have the vacuum ability, of course. He also has a floating ability that will save your life, and it helps to give him a great recovery rate, which will definitely save you many, many, many times. He does have decent attacks, and is a very formidable fighter. If I can't have Kirby, then often times I want Meta Knight as a close substitute.

Now here's my list of the top 5 fighters who I also like, but just didn't make my final Top 5 list. It's not my Bottom 5 fighters, but rather the honorable mentions who didn't quite make it. In no particular order:



Marth: He is similar to Ike, but I find Marth better simply because he's faster. That's really it. It was a VERY close call to have Marth in the final Top 5, and I do like Marth, and he is a great fighter... But just barely didn't make it.

Wolf O'Donnell: I was surprised at how much ass this guy kicks. I mean, really. Yeah, he's sort along the same line as Fox and Falco, but I'd say better than Fox, but... just not quite as good as Falco. I'd prefer to have to rely on Falco, ever so slightly, so he just barely didn't make the final 5. I still like Wolf a lot though.

Solid Snake: I couldn't wait to try Snake, and he only sort of disappointed. He actually is LIKE a snake; he crawls along, but he strikes fast and hard. He is quite dangerous and is a great fighter. But well, because of his overall lack of much speed, I would not be able to rely on him a whole lot. SNAAAAAAKE!!

Link: I relied on Link a lot at first, but then I unlocked Toon Link... Link is still excellent, but with Toon Link being overall better, Link just didn't make the final 5. He probably would have, if Toon Link was not in the game.

Pikachu: He got me through some difficult times in SSE, and overall is a decent fighter, with preferable agility, and some of those attacks are pretty strong. But I prefer a fighter with more 'weight', I guess, as part of it. And I just felt better handling some other fighters instead, and with more, stronger attacks.

Movie Review: A Scanner Darkly

Starring:
Keanu Reeves, Woody Harrelson, Robert Downey, Jr., Wynona Ryder, Rory Cochrane

Director:
Richard Linklater

MPAA Rating:
R, for drug and sexual content, language, and a brief violent image.

Release Date:
July 28, 2006

Synopsis:
Sometime in the near future, Bob Arctor is an undercover police agent investigating the use of a drug called Substance D. He essentially befriends the people he is trying to bust, but as a result of his own drug addiction, he begins to lose his own mind.

My Two Cents:
I like Shin's format for reviews so I'll use it here. So this movie is based on the book of the same name by renowned and celebrated author Philip K. Dick. I have not read the book, but I gather the two formats are a lot alike. And that's part of the problem, really. I honestly had a very difficult time liking this movie at all. It didn't seem to have much of a real point at all except a generic 'this is how life should NOT be' view. Well, okay, that's fine. But if I am supposed to get more out of this movie, I don't get it. I didn't really sympathize with the characters, because I don't sympathize with people who decide to destroy themselves with drugs. This is basically what this movie is about. Now, anti-drug messages are fine with me. But this movie doesn't really take that approach even. It...focused a lot on the group of friends just....not really freaking out, but clearly not being in clear or understandable states of mind. Or at least, obviously altered states of mind. One of them begins having severe hallucinations and freak-outs, and also commits suicide.

The movie also very abruptly ends. We have Arctor being taken into rehab, and sent to work for the institution on a farm. You assume this is because Arctor is infiltrating the institution, and there is more of the movie in which he uncovers the truth and reveals it. But that doesn't happen. The movie ends with him being in custody and we don't know what happens to him after that. It just feels like this is not the end of the movie, that there is supposed to be more of the movie; like they didn't finish it or something. Maybe the book ends that way, too; I am not sure. But it doesn't feel right.

So what you find out about Arctor is that the two hemispheres of his brain are competing for dominance, and that seems to be the cause of his mental impairments. Now, this is a real disorder, so that in itself is not weird. But when I was watching the movie, I just assumed he was depressive, or at least melancholy, all the time because, uh, he's using drugs. That also made sense. It just...took too long to get to this point in the movie, because they were focusing more on the druggies...not doing anything important. There just wasn't something right about that because the movie didn't seem to have a point and it was taking too long to get to one.

It's also weird because Substance D is not defined or shown. At all. You have no idea what it looks like or how it's used, or what it's made of. What's good about this though is that it shows that you don't have to continuously show people using drugs to get the point across that they are addicts. But...the drug itself is not shown or described at all. Why is it called 'Substance D' anyway? What does the name mean or refer to?

The scramble suit is a neat, and odd, idea. It's a suit that flashes many, many different types of people and clothes at the same time and is always changing. They're used to conceal identities of people like Arctor, since he's an undercover agent, and...also a drug user...

There is one twist to this movie, and it surprised me, too. You really don't see it coming; when someone else in a scramble suit reveals their identity.



There also wasn't anything wrong with the acting. Everyone was fine, and played their parts well. I'm also going to refrain from making Robert Downey, Jr. jokes...

This movie was made in two ways, basically. The movie was filmed with all the actors; sometimes behind green screens, or partial green screens. Then, every frame was digitally painted over, so it looks like a CGI movie, but it only is somewhat. The characters were not made from scratch, no. The movie thus has a very stylized look, which I did like and appreciated.

However, it takes more than just pretty imagery to make a good movie. They might as well have not even bothered.

So even though this is a movie review, and not a video review, I have to mention that I did watch the special features on the disc, which would hopefully help shed light on what the point of this movie was... They did, or one did, rather. One feature has an old interview with Philip Dick, from 1977, in which he describes that the book is basically his reaction to...the Nixon Administration, and his participation in the 'counterculture'. I think he basically means the drug-abusing 'counterculture' of the 1960's that did seep into the early 1970's. It is true that Dick did have drug problems, which his own daughter admits to, in this feature as well. Dick is basically a paranoid man in this interview, describing that he 'knew' that...the government was watching him, for reasons he cannot name. He says his house has been broken into and ransacked before, and he 'knows' that whoever it was was looking for 'something', which he also cannot identify. First he says he has 'no doubt' (direct quote) that the government did break into his house, but then shortly after, in the same part of the interview, he says he doesn't know who did it. It's very unfortunate to see and hear, from his own mouth, how paranoid he was.

It's also explained that the original book was basically written as Dick expressing his pain over his own drug problems, and over the pain of his friends who also suffered from drug problems. The end of the movie does have text written by Dick, which may be in the book, in which he dedicates the work to several friends who suffered and/or died as a result from various ailments; probably from drug use. It is too bad to hear that such things did happen. I just didn't feel that when watching this movie; that this was about, or related to, Dick's own drug-related pain. It's one thing when you're reading a book written by the author's own hand, and you also read and understand it's about his pain. But that just didn't go over well into a movie, and doesn't seem to fit. This is where the two formats don't really relate well, even if the movie is a decent transfer from the book.

But in this feature, some of the cast and crew also claim...this movie is directly related times today, because as Wynona Ryder said, we're always being watched. She does not say by who, however. Other cast and crew say 'the current administration' is related to this kind of thing, and the movie applies to them as well.

So in other words, it sounds like Dick wrote the book because he was paranoid, and also suffering from drug-related pain and loss of loved ones, and the movie was made because the cast and crew are also paranoid....That's honestly the impression I got, and it makes me see this movie even less favorably than I already was.

Unfortunately, I thus really can't recommend this movie very much, if at all. I suppose Philip Dick fans will want to check it out, especially if they have read the book. But other people who are not familiar with Dick or his work may wonder some of the same things I did when I watched it, and see little real point to the movie. It has pretty pictures, sure, but that doesn't make the movie. Also, if I have to resort to the extra features in order to really figure out a main purpose for this movie, that's definitely not a good sign. It should be more clear than that.

Sorry, but I have to say this. This movie is largely... 'BOGUS!' I didn't say I wouldn't make a Keanu Reeves joke.

RPG Watch: April 2008

Here are RPG's coming out this month you might want to keep an eye on. If you like RPGs that is.

Baroque (Wii, PS2): April 8- A dungeon crawler in which you must discover the secrets behind the world of ruin you wake up in. The name comes from a type of person in this world who basically suffer severely from their own delusions; 'Baroques'. There are also Meta-Beings, who have become monsters after completely succumbing to their 'Baroques'. A theme in this game is described commonly as 'death is the beginning', because when you die, you do die, but some different things happen in the game as a result, such as unlocking new areas, and new character dialogue.

Rondo of Swords (DS): April 15- This strategy RPG focuses on the body double of Prince Serdic of Bertwalde, after the kingdom is attacked by the Grand Meir Empire. The game features a different kind of battle system, in which when you move units, you move them through your allies and enemies, and attack those in your way. Choosing a path to move your units plays a great part in battles, and there will also be a variety of units for combat as you would expect, each with special abilities and features.

Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/Darkness (DS): April 20- To understand the Pokémon, you must become the Pokémon. Just as in the other two Mystery Dungeon games (Red and Blue Rescue Teams), your character has somehow gone to another world populated by Pokémon and has become a Pokémon. You then go on an adventure of treasure-hunting with your Pokémon allies. Each game also has an exclusive Pokémon you can unlock, just like the regular series. If you really, really, gotta catch 'em all, the games, that is, then this should serve you well.



Persona 3: Fes (PS2): April 22- Did you miss Persona 3 last year? Or maybe you just can't wait for Persona 4. Well, you're in luck. Not only does this game come with an expansion to the original game, it comes WITH the original Persona 3, which was not the case for the Japanese release. This set contains The Journey, which is basically the first game, and The Answer, the new expansion, and is more of a typical exploration RPG, and has less of the...dating activity than The Journey does. It also adds about 30 more hours of game time. Fight your way through your high school against evil beasties during the Dark Hour. Let yourself become a typical, emotionally imbalanced high school student so your Persona will become unleashed, in this installment of the cult, fan-favorite series.

The World Ends With You (DS): April 22- The words 'hip', 'fresh' and 'urban' are often used to describe this game, with music reminiscent of 'hip-hop' and techno sounds. Taking place in Japan's Shibuya district (yes, a contemporary setting RP), you play a boy named Neku who was seven days to complete all the tasks of the 'Reaper's Game'...or else. His psychic powers will help him along the way, as well as partners in each chapter.

Charlton Heston Dead

Charlton Heston has died. He was 84 years old, and survived by his wife of 64 years, Lydia, his two children Fraser Clarke and Holly Rochell, and three grandchildren, Jack Alexander, and Ridley and Charlie Rochell.

The following statement was released from his family: "To his loving friends, colleagues and fans, we appreciate your heartfelt prayers and support. Charlton Heston was seen by the world as larger than life. He was known for his chiseled jaw, broad shoulders and resonating voice, and, of course, for the roles he played. Indeed, he committed himself to every role with passion, and pursued every cause with unmatched enthusiasm and integrity.

We knew him as an adoring husband, a kind and devoted father, and a gentle grandfather, with an infectious sense of humor. He served these far greater roles with tremendous faith, courage and dignity. He loved deeply, and he was deeply loved.

No one could ask for a fuller life than his. No man could have given more to his family, to his profession, and to his country. In his own words, ‘I have lived such a wonderful life! I've lived enough for two people.’”

He has been the President of the Screen Actors Guild and Chairman of the American Film Institute, and of course, the President of the National Rifle Association. In 2003, he was awarded the highest honor a civilian may be bestowed, the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Heston won the Oscar for Best Actor in 1959 for Ben-Hur.

His other major films include Soylent Green, El Cid, The Ten Commandments, The Greatest Story Ever Told, Earthquake, 55 Days at Peking, and of course, Planet of the Apes. He also made a special, uncredited appearance in Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes, as Zaius, the father of Thade, and delivered a variation of one of his famous lines from the original movie.

Rest in peace, Charlton. You are forever part of American history.

Movie Review: El Orfanato (The Orphanage)

Starring:
Belén Rueda, Fernando Cayo, Roger Príncep, Mabel Rivera, Montserrat Carulla, Edgar Vivar, Andrés Gertrúdix

Director:
Juan A. Bayona (El Hombre Esponja)

MPAA Rating:
R for some disturbing content.

Release Date:
October 2007

Synopsis:
With fond memories of the seaside orphanage where she was raised, Laura persuades her husband to help her revamp it as a facility for disabled children. But once they move in, their son Simón begins to exhibit dark and disturbing behavior. As Laura tries to understand Simón's increasingly malevolent actions, she becomes drawn into the house's terrifying secrets.

My Two Cents:
Being an orphan at an early age must be tough, and living in an orphanage for the disabled must be even tougher. This is where Laura (Belén Rueda) grew up, although she didn’t seen to have any physical limitations. Perhaps this is why she was adopted before all the rest. Many years later, now an adult, Laura buys the abandoned house that used to be her orphanage. Along with her husband Carlos (Fernando Cayo) and their adopted son Simón (Roger Príncep) they start a new life near an old lighthouse.

Simón is seriously ill, and doesn’t know he’s adopted. Laura and Carlos love him more than anything and take great care of him. Even so, Simón, as many children, has imaginary friends. In time Simón starts talking to more and more imaginary friends, until Laura finally sees one of them, her son Simón disappears and a terrible chain of events begin to send her into desperation and psychological nightmare.

I think the movie’s plot is pretty sweet. Orphanages have been portrayed as creepy places before, and although this one is nice-looking, it holds many dark and disturbing secrets beneath its walls. I guess you could say this is a ghost movie, but the “ghosts” look solid and can be heard walking around, inside the freaking walls.



I got creeped out pretty good through 2/3 of the movie, with one Poltergeist-ish scene topping them all. By the third act, when Laura finally starts connecting the dots about the orphanage’s mystery, the creepiness fades a little and things start getting more confusing. By the ending I had too many questions that went unanswered. I usually have no problem with reaching my own conclusions, and actually like to be teased by the writers, but I suffered throughout the whole movie with Laura and couldn’t quite tell what happened at the end. It’s not that I couldn’t enjoy the film because of this, not at all.

The acting was great, as the art direction and general mood. I suggest you watch El Orfanato before Hollywood “recreates” it with an American version. Maybe they’ll do a good job, but I doubt they’ll top the original. Good creepy fun.

Score:

Nintendo Power Virtual Console Poll: Vote for Earthbound!

The newest issue of Nintendo Power asks readers to let them know what classic games they want to see on the Virtual Console, and want readers' lists of the top 5 choices they have for games, and the results will be posted 'in an upcoming issue'.

However, take note that NP does say "This is for polling purposes only, and will in no way determine future Virtual Console releases".

'In no way'? Then why bother? Well, they are a magazine who is simply asking for audience feedback. That's part of it. But also, well, maybe Nintendo of America will take notice of some of the most popular choices, and consider putting them out on the VC.

Naturally, Starmen.net is all over this, and suggests that if people want Mother and Earthbound/Mother 2 on the VC, they should put these games on their list.

As I have shared, it now seems astronomically unlikely that NoA is going to ever touch the Mother series again; they don't want to release Mother 3, and it seems that Earthbound will not be on the VC, by Nintendo's planning.

But you know what, do it anyway. Put the Mother games on your list and send it to Nintendo Power anyway.

Oh and the other 3 games can be whatever you want. Go nuts. :P

Mail your lists to Nintendo Power at vcpoll@futureus.com.

Source: Starmen.net